Falling apart, falling into place, strength, courage

We, or our friends, go through rough times in and out of relationships and have break-ups and divorces.  Here are some words of wisdom, quotes I love and thoughts that helped get me through some of those times, and I hope it helps someone else too.  Come here when you feel weak, scared, lonely, or that you can't get through this...Let's start with one of my all-time favs:

In the end, everything will be okay - if it's not okay, then it's not the end.  Quite simply...life has ups and downs, so if you are experiencing a down....this too shall pass, and things will be okay again. 

Things fall apart, so enjoy the mess, learn to sit in the muck, the mess and do all you can to take things as a learning opportunity, a door closing, but another opening...things will fall into place...

PLOT TWIST is one of the hardest to apply...we hang on, we try, we work at something, or someone...sometimes it's simply time to let go and move on.

Self-respect - when you finally get this one, then it is easier for the care and well-being of yourself to walk away from things and people that are not in your life for your highest good or purpose.

When pain, life's changes, etc are due to another person, or a relationship...it is very difficult to let go, if you are compassionate, care, and have the personality to keep on trying, give it your all, put in 110%.  How many times have you caught yourself saying you can "make this work"? Sometimes in relationships, you have to give up on the other person, not because you don't care...but because they don't care - enough about themselves or the relationship....or YOU. Let it go.

During a break-up of mine in the past, I was struggling to be the good person, be supportive, he had lost his job, flipped out and broken up...what was I to do?  I chose to be there...when he called or texted, or missed me, or wanted me back. I've joked with my friends that I'm sure they wanted to slap some sense into me!  What I hadn't quite figured out, until my boss said "run, Tabatha, run...I've learned in my life that 100% of the time, people show you their true character during adversity" that it clicked....I mean REALLY clicked.  People show you who they are all the time...let them, then learn from it and decide if this is the kind of person, character that you want to surround yourself with.  Let it go if it is not. 

One of my ALL TIME favorite poems, given to me in a rough time and a break up is the poem LET IT GO by T. D. Jakes.  Here is a video of Preacher TD Jakes in hiw own words during a sermon on the subject as well.  The moral? 

Let someone go...if they can walk away from you, then let them walk.  Don't try to talk another person into staying, loving you, calling you, dating you, being with you - let them walk if they are going to walk.  PERIOD.
Because your destiny is not tied to a person who left. Their time or purpose in your life or story has passed. Let them go.  Here is his poem as well.  Print it, post it, read it, believe it..........

And so, sometimes we are left simply needing STRENGTH - We overcome so much in life, and we do get through it, and I have found ALWAYS that I truly am stronger for it.   This is easier said than done at times, but that is why we must lean on friends, family and our support network to get through the tough times.  We are not strong enough yet, or on our own, so we need the village to help us get through.

Storms, trees, roots, winds....I love nature and we can learn from it.  Storms make trees take deeper roots, grow more deeply, and we can too.
We have to know, believe in ourselves, and weather these storms. We will see the sunshine again, the blue skies, feel the breeze, smell the flowers...


And we look back and think - I am in a much better place now...and I AM stronger!
To all my friends having rough times - words of encouragement, strength, wisdom...And here are some more blogs to fill your heart, ease your mind - Words of Wisdom by Maya Angelou, Me Time is Important, Spread Your Wings and Fly, My Wish For YOU, Blossom with the right person, Closure? Change?  Bring it!, Outside My Box, and The Power of Positive...and certainly read back, and enjoy!  
~Daring, Delightful, Digital Diva

Maya Angelou - teacher of women, men alike

You may have heard, you may not have heard - Artist, author, spokeswoman for equality, rights, and peace, Maya Angelou has passed away today.  I did not read everything she wrote, but what I read, I found peace, wisdom and for all that she endured, WOW is all I can say. 

She was not an angry woman, full of hate at the world who treated her so poorly or the way and time she grew up.  She chose differently, and chose to break the cycle. I watched her from afar, catching quotes, video clips, appearances, and her general presence in the media.  She was famous, yes...but she did not act like the trash we get to see on TV and in the 'news' - she was to my knowledge, always dignified, wise, calming, kind and good natured to a fault, peaceful just to watch.

She and her wisdom, yearning for peace will carry on through others, and I know the world has become a better place with her in it....and her essence will be carried on...

Some of my favorite quotes from Dr. Maya Angelou and what I've learned:

Do the best you can until you know better - why would we know better and still behave the same way?  What kind of self-improvement is that?  Do something better today.

Looking back on feeling REJECTED vs REDIRECTED - when have we ever looked back and seen that it really was better back then?  Not me.  I look back and think PHEW I avoided this or that, or I got to experience this great thing or meet this great person.  This is especially true in DATING and I cannot tell you enough.  LET GO of people who do not serve you, open the door for the next great person, and help redirect yourself to where you are meant to be.  Life is grande.

Also in dating as with the rest of life, remember that people show you their true nature, one way or another.  Soooo, if someone fills you full of lies and excuses, Listen, then let them go.  If someone you are dating loses their job and breaks up...let them go, since that is not someone that you are meant to get through life's challenges WITH...let them go.  If you meet people who are unkind to others, gossip, talk ill of others, LISTEN and choose to surround yourself with better people.  Listen to people's true nature.  The kindness one shows when nobody is looking, the generosity, the thoughtfulness even in this busy world. LISTEN to the good and bring more in, LISTEN and let go of all you don't need.

Normal...what IS normal anyway and why do we strive for it?  Why not blaze our own trail, make paths, be leaders.  Once you let go of what others think of you, how you 'should' act or be, then life really is more amazing.  We have to figure our way there, teach others around us.  We have to dance crazy in the middle of the store in front of our kids to make the point, so be it.  We do our own thing, find new hobbies, give new things and new people a try.  Life is exciting, rewarding and breathtaking when you let go of the notion of NORMAL and just BEEEEE YOU...BEEEAUTIFUL you. 


 We cannot forget how others make or made us feel, but how we also have the power of how we make someone feel.  We might forget the words, the actions, but not the feelings tied to emotions.  This reminds me to be kind with my words and actions, but also how I make someone FEEL...And for me, this one reminds me to make people feel WORTHY...of my time, my actions, and my attention.  So give people your time, your attention, set the cell phone down and interact with humans around you. 


 Another dating lesson learned - is to not make someone a priority when you are only an option.  Value and self-worth can be tough lessons to learn, and how many times do we give people chances?  How many apologies do we give?  When do we stand up and say "I'm worth it" and raise our standards?  I had my learning lessons - being stood up, disrespected, yelled at, called names, finding time for everyone or everything but me.  Here's what I learned. I can't make something work by myself, and if it's meant to work, it will without daily effort and strife and struggle. Here's the biggie - when I raised my standards and started teaching people how to treat me, and respected myself enough to expect respect...then I stopped dating the wrong kind of man for me. When a woman stops asking herself why she keeps dating jerks....and instead quits picking the jerks, then life really is different on the other side.

So, here's to you, Maya Angelou - on teach everyone, and especially women how to respect ourselves and others, stand up for what we believe, be more kind and generous, get educated and so much more.
~Daring, Delightful, Digital Diva