Too Tall

Another story for the books! TooTallBrian! Well, the guy was attractive and interesting on his profile and let this be a lesson to learn from! On the phone he mentioned that he modeled a time or two, but there wasn't much need for SIX-FOOT-TEN models - and my only instinct was - man, this guy could likely be full of himself! I am ON!!!

He earned brownie points by meeting me AND a couple friends for a night out - lesson learned...no friends, no alcohol on a first date! He faired well during dinner, except that he was NEXT to me and across from my two friends, so conversation steered more toward them...but he was nice, kind of funny and bought dinner for all of us.

Then on to the next place where we stepped out of the car and he had a cigarette! His profile had said NO WAY to smoking! Oh NO!!! This was the beginning of a downhill slide!

Out dancing stunk at the hiphop place, as he tried to hook up at other tables of girls 'his friend' and ignored me dancin out all sexy-like on the dancefloor...the excuse? ‘Not my kind of music’. My friends said to ditch him, but I thought, OH, one more chance...so we moved to a country bar. There, he disappeared completely and WE were looking for a ride home, got one arranged and then he appeared. So, I watched my friends closely, made a fabulous EXIT speech, turned around to grab my friend's hand and exit to her arranged ride. Only guess what? NO RIDE!!! They bailed! So, here I gave this great exit speech, told the guy off and when he and his friend came looking for us ended up taking us back to our car! How AWKWARD!!

And then the funniest thing? He marked me as 'INTERESTED' the next week on the Match.com site! WHATEVER!!!

NICE GUY

Well, lo and behold, it was bound to happen - and right off the bat!  The guy who we all know suffers from NICE GUY Syndrome, right?  Yep, you bet!

Connected online with a nice fella, had great and witty emails, then great and witty conversations on the phone for hours...then the first date...not bad!  Then two dates, and pretty quickly it was apparent that he was into me than I was into him. 

I wasn't sure though, either, having been out of the game for a while, and so I wanted to be friends, see what happened, and do you know what????  He didn't WANT to be my friend!  He's been 'in the Friend Zone" far too many times, so he just would rather not be there with me.  CRAZY!  So, I was worth dating, being with, seeing if a together-life would grow, but NOT to be my friend?  WOW!!!  Moving on I guess!

ONLINE?

I am in the middle of an experiment.  I have been torn about online dating, but decided to at least add the experience to my collection!  So, on the first day, I had gotten 5 emails, and a couple of "WINKS" ; )  whatever that is! 

I found completing the profile a VERY good learning experience, and you can complete a profile without officially signing up and paying for the service...I completed 2 different sites to see what was better.  I tried eHarmony and Match.com and found Match.com to have MORE matches for me to choose from (come on, a girl still wants CHOICE, right?) and the matches were IN Billings.  So, that led me to pay and sign up and see who my matches were! 

It has been entertaining, interesting, intriguing, and odd all at the same time.  A couple fellas and I have been emailing back and forth, a few I have emailed and have gotten no response - and one who marked me as a "favorite" but hasn't bothered to respond!  Darn, he sounded VERY intelligent, funny and interesting, too! 

I have realized this about online dating so far - while you are increasing your chances of meeting and connecting with people, at the same time you are increasing your rejection ratio as well!  I have rejected some, and some likely are rejecting me.  But, in keeping the perspective, that is why I did this...to throw out who and how I am, take it or leave it...so leave it if you're not interested!  The same goes for me!  : )

RULES

So, my friends tease me all the time about all these RULES that I have in regards to dating.  There are not many, but I stand by them very strongly and I wish more of my friends developed their own rules too...or just followed mine!  : )

1. Never give out your phone number in a BAR...NEVER!  You are not going there to meet guys; you will not meet Mr. Right in a bar; and if he's truly meant for you, certainly you'd run into him somewhere else!
2. Never ditch plans with friends for a date; Karma is just asking to get even! Bad date, getting stood up, you name it!  It shows character to not cancel on plans you have, and if the guy is interested, he will wait and try for another night!
3. NEW  to the menu!  Implement the "90-day" rule!  Make a guy earn his keep, show up on time, treat you right, etc before giving him the 'benefits' or the 'cookie' ; ) (See The COOKIE post for more info, from Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man book!)

Well, even I was meant to semi-break my own rules at some point and I have learned my lesson!  I gave out my number to a guy that I had danced with on 3 separate occasions at a bar...but I didn't give him my number even then.  My friends and I went to eat afterwards, when he and his brother showed up about 20 minutes later!  So, my friends said that I was no longer IN a bar and could give him my number, or take his at the very least.  So, I took his, and called him a few days later.  We have been communicating and I have learned very much to NEVER break my rule again! UUUUGH! Just not the guy for me...I am very intuitive about these things - and even so, sometimes it is just obvious! HAHA

Nice guy, but I am VERY different kind of girl and am a LOT to handle to begin with.  So last night he texted "did you have a good day or are you in one of your moods" - and that will be the last call or text that he gets from me...If this was only the beginning of a relationship thing, what fun is THAT??? Ick!   My moods are my business, and I guess I'm not in the MOOD to hear from him again! 
SO, I guess I have a BAR GUY to add to the mix, and move on to better!  Oy!

Facebook, REALLY?

So, Facebook is for catching up with current, new AND old friends, right? I do just that, stay in better touch - at least in a passive and voyeuristic way!  I had the funniet thing happen to me recently, and 2+2 only happened because the stars aligned just so and things happened kind of automatically!

One afternoon, I booked a trip to Kalispell for work, kind of last minute, scheduled it, made arrangements for the kids, all those travel things you do!  That very evening I was on Facebook, and got a friend request from an old "neighbor boy" friend of mine from 5th grade on up!  I accepted his request, excited to see what he'd been up to, and I saw that he lived in KALISPELL!  I sent him a message catching up and also letting him know that I was coming to Kalispell that very next week! 

We spent a week emailing, calling and texting to the point we were both like little kids, so excited to meet and catch up - it was a playdate!  Well, lo and behold; what was to be old friends & neighbors catching up, turned into an attraction and a DATE - or two!  Funny thing is, nothing will come of it , with 7 hours and reality between us, but it was enjoyable and fun!  And, I learned that Facebook and other methods of meeting and staying in touch can bring all kinds of possibilities!  Every person comes into your life for a REASON, SEASON, or LIFETIME....

The Cookie

Well, it seems life has thrown me some more changes since last I wrote...namely that I won't be getting or giving the COOKIE anytime soon!  My relationship efforts at a second go-around ended suddenly- and around the holidays no less!

So I guess when I was reading Act Like a Lady, I had better have been generalizing for all men, since I'll be back out on the dating scene again someday!  Oy! 
What I REALLY learned from the book was that I am going to institute a 90-day RULE for the cookie!  HAHA : )   He explained that when anyone starts working for a company, you have to work usually 90 days prior to receiving the 'benefits' so why should us ladies think or act any differently?  I think when I go out with a guy, he'll show up on time, do what is required, earn his keep, and THEN may receive the benefits - or THE COOKIE!

Meanwhile, batteries will have to suffice for me too!  ; )

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

I am reading Steve Harvey's book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man to see if I can gleam anything helpful to arm myself in this dating world at all! 
So far, some things seem to ring true!

1. Men's love is different than women's love.  While a woman can be kind, compassionate, patient, nurturing, sweet and unconditional and pure - and she can want all of that from her man, a man's love IS different!  Because men don't love like we do, doesn't mean they don't.  Here's how to tell if a man loves you...A man will PROFESS his love for you, by introducing you as something, sharing with the world that you are important to him.  A man will PROVIDE for you in many ways, and PROTECT you...they are born and bred to do these things for a lady that is important in their lives.
2. Needs - Women's needs are complicated and change in an instant!  Men's needs are simple - Support, Loyalty and THE COOKIE....

More about the cookie next!  Interesting stuff - giving us the secrets of how men work, think and love...hmmmm!