Meeee Time is always important

One of the things I am still ever-grateful for as an outcome of my divorce was finally learning the value of taking care of ME.  I was insanely burnt out, old, haggard, frumpy, and taking care of everyone else, so I lost myself.  Like many, I didn't know who I was, I didn't know what to do with my free time, I couldn't remember what I liked to do, so I spent some serious time figuring that out.  It was fun, valuable, and many learning lessons too! 

I set some rules, such as never saying NO if I was invited to something!  I have met the most wonderful people and friends that way, or learned a new thing I like to do.  Oh man, did I experiment with myself in so many ways - dating, hobbies, passions, creative outlets.  THE biggest thing that has come from these years in figuring it out - is that I HAVE to have a creative outlet AND have to push myself or be striving in some way.  I have bellydanced, presented to large groups, travelled, tried new things, met new people, and the latest was/is RUNNING.

Along the way, I found that one of the things I love and found value in, peace, calm and more was Labyrinths.  You might not know what that is, but I wrote a blog on them here as well as one on my own personal experience in them here, but the gist is that they are kind of like a maze but NOT - one path in, one path out, no getting 'lost' per se...

Well a little while ago, I discovered that there IS a labyrinth in my home town now!  It is simple in all it's glory - white pain on an old parking lot...but it exists and is in my town, so I can go anytime!  Do I have a lot of time?  NOOOO! But knowing I can go anytime I want is comforting to know.  To de-stress, meditate, move my body, anything! 

Find your joy, your peace, your creative outlet, your calming "thing" and you will grow and be a better person for it!
~ Delightful, Daring, Digital Diva

Connected Disconnect along our travels

Have you ever wondered or thought how disconnected we are, yet with technological advances attempting to 'connect' us?  I do all the time!

I watch people everywhere, tied to their phones, checking who knows what when they are clearly with other people! You know who they are:  the couple dining together but both on their phones, the walk and texters, the teen at the dinner table texting friends or playing games, and the most obtuse example I have was while travelling in airports! 

 The Minneapolis Airport is now DESIGNED for all this technology believe it or not! I walked to my gate and was stunned, quite literally (I even stood there staring like a kid!). There were tons of tables and chairs, bars and bar stools ALL with iPads, electrical connections!  And to boot, the people were all singles sitting at the 2-person tables anyway.  So, we have just set up an airport to be similar to the movie "Wall-E" with screens in front of us, removing the human interaction, the connection, and keeping us plugged in. 

So what happened to visiting with people, hearing a great story on where they are headed or coming from?  How about talking while at the gym on machines side by side?? NOPE...now people have the TV, headphones and a magazine or book. 

I find it appauling and have been trying to DIS-connect better - for my kids, my sweetie and my friends. I prefer attention, focus, and a more 'real' connection, not some distracted, multi-tasking version of an "um hmm", "yeah" or "ok". 
What are YOU going to do today to make a real connection, disconnect from your technology, including iPad, iPod, iPhone, iCrap, Droids and more?????
~Delightful Daring less-Digital Diva ;)

Moment "Mishaps" Make the Most of Memories

We try to capture the BEST shots with the camera, and sometimes the funniest and cutest ones are the natural, silly, funny, awkward, bring out the laughs ones!  I love to throw some of those in for clients too for the fun of it! 

 One of my favorites is this gigantic attempt to catpure my redheads lying in the gress head to head like people do....WELL, if you only knew how very sensitive their eyes are to the sun, oh my!  Well,we decided to get down there, and do the 1-2-3 OPEN their eyes....and THIS is what we got!!!!  HAHA!  The 'bright, bright, my eyes are burning' with squeals and protests ended up being hilarious!!  I love this picture for me as a mom because of the story behind it and what it means to ME. 1-2-3-OPEN! 

Same goes for how many pictures do we get of siblings fighting, arguing, wrestling, teasing, poking and prodding??? Many!  Save a few for fun memories...and for my daughter this will be even MORE funny when her brother is big enough to grab her around the neck! ;)

So, don't throw out the good, bad or ugly ones because while you may not order a large canvas wrap with it, they DO create and capture funny memories and inside jokes! HAHA
Happy Camera-ing!
~Delightful Daring Digital Diva

Gratitude, Karma and Serendipity all rolled into ONE Make-Your-Day Story!

Not only is it FRIDAY, which is a great feeling - wrapping up a busy work week, looking forward to the weekend kind of day.  We have a story that will make you feel GREAT to boot!


A week ago my friend and I met before work for breakfast, and in walks an elderly lady to join her friend as well.  Well such as it would be, she felll down the stairs, and could not get up!  We ran over to assist, took charge to advise her to go to the ER - something this post-surgical hospital floor for years gal does NOT advise lightly...EEEK!  Her ankle was swelling quickly within a minute and did not look good!  She agreed and the two of us with another diner gent helped get her across the restaurant, back up another flight of stairs to the sidewalk level to her awaiting friend in the car to deliver her little damaged foot to the doctors.

Well, I know you must be wondering, as we were too - WHAT HAPPENED?  In those situations we are often left wondering about the outcome!  Kind of like when I dislocated my shoulder on the plane in front of a flight full of passengers...I think wowsa, what happened?  So we tried to check with the restaurant and see if anyone notifed them.  Indeed they had.  She had a terrible break, dislocation of the ankle and even a tibia break too, which resulted in 2-3 days' stay, surgery, pins and plates, and 8-weeks ordered of no weight bearing on her poor leg! Yowsa! 

Well lo and behold, today a week later, and I ran over there for a cup of coffee, and wouldn't you know at that EXACT same moment, a gentleman came in and I heard my NAME Serendipity!  He asked if I had helped his Mom when she fell and broke her ankle, so indeed I was one of them, yes.  Well, this fine upstanding citizen handed me cards for me and my friend since we work together anyway, and in it was a lovely THANK YOU note and a gift card to the restaurant!!!  Oh I about cried!!!  That is so sweet of her to send and for him to seek us out on behalf of his mom - and there is another card with a gift card for the other dining patron gent that assisted us too.  :) 

This goes to show you SOOOO many things - gratitude, helping others without expectation, just thos efeel-good-make-your-day moments.  And to boot, it doesn't hurt that the two fellas that insisted on ordering instead of letting the waitress help by gathering ice for her quickly swelling foot...well, they didn't get nothin'! ;)

Have a WONDERFUL Friday, Weekend and do something kind for someone...just because!
~Delightful Digital Diva

Daring Dancing Diva TOOOO.....Daring Delightful Digital Diva

One thing I like is FREEDOM creatively, and to be honest moving my blog to my photography website was not allowing me that freedom. I mean, really ONE photo per blog left or right??? Not for me.  Maybe I have two favorites, maybe I want it in the middle of the page. 

Soooooo, I'm taking it back!   I'm keeping my 'old' blog, now new again, freshened and will continue to tell stories from womanhood, parenthood, dating, photography, kids, life, love and more! 
Here we go!!!! Let's focus on the positive, capture things through thought and image...and we'll take another shot!

~Delightful Daring Digital Diva

Thanksgiving Massacre of 2010....

Title sounds gruesome, and what you are about to read might be as well, waaaahaha! Just kidding, sort of. You would never know it by the looks of this picture just what happened that Thanksgiving of 2010. It was a cold, dreary night...just kidding!

My parents, my sis and her hubby had decided to switch things up for Thanksgiving and travel to Utah to ol' sis' house and oh wouldn't this be FUN! Indeed it was...or at least in part!

My son threw up on the way there, and I thought nothing of it since he would sometimes get motion sickness. We were only an hour away. Then at 10 minutes from arrival he did again. Hopeful we could just arrive and get him grounded, oh he would feel better. The poor little fella headed straight for the garbage can when we hit the ground, and he did not leave it until the next MORNING...yup, every five minutes, even falling asleep in between right on the garbage! Oh how mommies do not like to see their kiddos sick, but most especially while ON VACATION! BOOOOO! I was up with him all night, doing the hopeful-head-bobbing thing...you know, the "oh, I think he's done, cjust start to doze, then WHAM...nope, up and at em again!" That proceeded throughout the night and into the morning with some sleep finally about 5am.

BAM, Kids sure do feel better when they feel better! He was up and at em in the morning, and we all had hustle and bustle preparing a nice meal and all the fixin's! We even went out to take these lovely pictures, and by evidence of these and more on that Thanksgiving DAY, you would never even have a clue what happened! Well.......we enjoyed those photos, play time, and a delightful meal, most of us together at my sister's home!

She and I even headed out for some shopping, and then in the morning WHAM.....in the middle of JC Penney and without warning I had to make a RUN for the bathroom! Oh it hit me like a ton of bricks...and I proceeded to go home and lay on the couch alllllll day, only to rise ever 15-20 minutes to rid my body of the last possible anything left within me. I cannot recall a time except once in junior high school that I had been so sick! UGH! And, of course the BEST part, was being sick on a vacation, and IN SOMEONE ELSE'S home and trying not to breathe or touch anything! Each time to the bathroom, we would wipe everything down on the way out! Oh it was awful! At least everyone else hadn't gotten it....

Well, at bedtime, my mom said "honey, you should at least move to your bed it's bedtime" WHAT? An entire DAY and evening had passed? Who took care of my kiddos, who fed them, what did they eat? I had NO recollection of anything! Nada, zip, zero, zilch! Man alive was I sick!! So, I grabbed my bucket, balanced myself to head downstairs to the guest room. And I begged my sister to help me get them to bed, which she was in the process already, and she said "Houston, we've got a problem" and as I glanced down the hallway, what did I see? My daughter with her head in a bucket groaning....OH NO!!!! I wasn't even done being sick myself!! I was clearly incapable of caring for them, I figured if she threw up I would gag and throw up again myself, oh was I in for a long and delirious night!

Here's a funny part - my daughter is admittedly the 'weeny' of the bunch and she actually made me laugh during this when she said "Oh oh oh mom, you have to take me to the doctor, what I have is soooooo much worse than what you and Owen had..." I stifled my giggle even while hanging onto my bucket and said "suck it up ya silly girl and get ready to PUKE!" what more could I say? She needed a little tough love right then, and I didn't really have much empathy left in me!

Well, at least her time frames were farther apart and I did feel better myself, and we did get SOME rest, but boy oh boy what a Massacre that was! And you know what??? That morning we bleached everything we possibly could in my sister's home, washed rags, towels, bedding, you name it. And NOBODY ELSE got sick - admittedly my parents took off a day early wanting to avoid the plague, understandable, but thank goodness nobody caught what we brought!

AND, having just arrived back from a weekend jaunt to visit my sister and her hubby again, we got to have a successful NON-ill trip, so PHEW!!!!!! Now you know the rest of the story....as Paul Harvey would say!
~Delightful, Daring Diva - with Delightful Darlings too :)

Oh what a birthday present ;)

What a birthday present this fella got this year!! It is such an honor to be part of one's life in the littlest ways and help someone make a very special and intimate gift.
But there's MUCH MORE....

Being comfortable in the health field, approachable, easy-going and a women's advocate seems to have affected one line of my photography business - the DARING DIVA collection! 

My very first official photo session was for a wedding gift, and I have done many since!  Each Diva session is fun, amazing and I see or learn something new about women from all my Diva's!

So what an honor to be part of someone's ah-ha, to inspire someone, to help someone feel beautiful, get comfy, let go of the nerves and have FUN behind the camera for themselves and the recipient of the photo album!! AND what fun to create the final product to WOW the Diva AND have a very special gift for someone too - what a birthday this fella got! :) Contact me today to feel sexy & beautiful!
~Daring Diva - - - Dial the Diva at 406-498-6993, or digital at tabatha@divadigitaldesign.com :)

High School connection, families growing up...

While I like to think that I do not age - - I am growing up - - well we all are - but you REALIZE it when you have your 20th high school reunion, right? Wake up!

I was able to connect with many people and hear stories, see pictures and realize that we all have

Kim and I reconnected at the reunion when she loved the reunion pictures, so we planned a photo shoot for her and her two VERY photogenic kiddos! What fun we had with them all over downtown with the historical buildings, trains, you name it! This is one of my favorites, and THANK YOU for the honor of capturing your family memories!!!
gotten jobs, degrees, married, divorced, had kids, etc in any certain order of course, along with many other things! It was then in seeing other's photos of their children that I realized this is part of the cycle of life and one of the many many reasons I enjoy photography so darn much!!

More of Kim's photos coming to the Diva Digital Design Facebook page, or you can see more at the Diva storage site: www.divadigitaldesign.smugmug.com and book your session today - fall is filling up fast and so much fun!!!
~Delightful Digital Diva

Spread Your Wings and Fly

Many times in my life, or yours, we can look back...BACK being the key here. We look back and THEN we see with more clarity, more ah-ha's, and more insight. We see the bigger picture, we see how things have turned out, and do you know what I've found? That things really do turn out how they are supposed to be, and for my highest good.

That means there are sucky times that we have to sit in the hurt, the pain, even just the unknown. But, I have finally figured out that even in those times, I take the learning, the growing and the opportunity - and have learned to let myself FLY....knowing I really and truly am onto bigger and better things - whether a new job, new town, new hobby, new partner or relationship, or any such new adventure. I will continue to spread my wings, fly, and encourage you to do the same. Please reply and tell me something you have done to spread your wings and FLYYYYY!
~Daring, Delightful Diva

My WISH for you...

Look at this shot! It took me back to childhood and making wishes with the dandelions, and also reminded me that I was asked recently to give my 16-year-old self a piece of advice, and I thought it wouldn't be anything different than I would teach my kids or WISH for them, or YOU or ME! 
So here are my WISHES for all of you!

• Do more, be involved and TRY new things! A rule I applied when I was newly divorced and I've never regretted it once! I've met new people, made new hobbies, discovered something about myself, or someone else, good or bad!
• Be kind to others - but also don't take any crap from anyone either - and if you learn the balance between the two, then you've got it made! We may regret it if we are unkind, so I try my best to just be that "nice girl" even though we and the nice guys may finish last. I also know Karma is a bitch if you are, so great things are coming to me! :)
• Speaking of, Karma, I believe like thoughts attract like thoughts, and actions, deeds - so, do the right thing, and good things WILL come...they WILL! Positivity is INFECTIOUS and people often will ask how such crazy good and sometimes kooky things happen to me - it's my thinking and attitude for sure!
• Love and love big - fearless, which can be hard at times, especially after break-ups, trials and tribulations. Being loved deeply gives you strength, but loving deeply gives you courage...
• Relationships - DO choose wisely, and cut your losses earlier on, not that there is anything wrong with putting in work, but I have seen far too many red flags and far too late, so prefer to just accept that things are not working and not meant to be...respect and care for each other should say it all!
• On accepting when to let go and move on - I was told long ago that it helps to think that that person simply moved out of the way of who you are meant to be and who you are meant to be with - so YEAH for that! 
• Back in high school or earlier years, we all can care about what other people think of us so my wish is that my children figure out early on that it REALLY doesn't matter! Life is SOOO much more enjoyable and full of life when you do what you want, with whom and how! Take it all in! Besides, I've already shared with them that if someone chooses to spend their energy thinking on you, then you must be pretty awesome, otherwise they wouldn't care!
• In college and work, find something you LOVE to do!! You will never mind making student loan payments and you will live your days as a much happier person and doing good for the world.
• Do good for the world! Recycle, reduce or reuse when you can, refurbish, get creative and just in general be considerate of the earth, materials and people too. This doesn't mean be a nut job, just don't be wasteful! 
• Material things are just that...material and stuff and fluff. We don't need it - simplify, and life is better - people are important in life, not things.

That's about all my wishes for you today, and caught on camera too!
Enjoy something in your day today, on this Labor Day, and try not to labor too hard ~Delightful, Daring Diva

Blossom with the right person!

A nature pitstop in a community garden and labyrinth in my hometown will always undoubtedly get me to thinking...or emptying thoughts, clearing my mind - and either way it is a wonderful process!

On this particular day I was too hung up on the beauty surrounding me, that rather than meditate IN the labyrinth, I needed to try to capture some of the essence...and also ran into the community garden next to it as well! Divine!

Thoughts on blossoms, growing, and blooming came to mind as I was surrounded by this beauty, and it got me to thinking about my OWN blossoming, changing, growing and learning in life. In particular in dating! More on dating and divorce in another blog...

What I realized that day was that with the right person surrounding you, loving you, supporting you, communicating with you - we really DO blossom...or are stunted, struggle to see the light, to bloom, to grow, to breathe and simply to BE...when we are NOT with the right person, and most of the time we see that after the fact, through the learning lessons of what doesn't work, what isn't right for us.

The one you spend time with, that you invite into your world can nuture us like flowers - with water, sunshine, support, room to breathe, be, and flourish! Those other people from our past may have served as seeds for things in someone that we know we want, and also to see the weeds - the things we don't want. We do grow and learn the most during the tough times, so I have learned to be grateful for those as well and sift through the soil, the dirt, the muck and mess to figure things out.
So it is so nice that after sowing and preparing the garden, I have room to blossom and grow with someone else too - so thank you my sweet! 

Run HAPPY? Are you KIDDING me?

Never in a million years would I associate running with happy, but here's the story.....

I have been pushing myself for years to live outside my comfort zone – from bellydancing to purchasing my own home, to meeting new people, trying a motorcycle ride when they scare me to death, to most anything!

The latest is RUNNING! I have not run even a mile since high
school gym class (JUST had 20th reunion!), yet have all these amazing friends who run and we tease each other about our style of workouts – me the bellydancer and Zumba gal vs. the running they torture themselves with! I even told my friend that runners do not look happy when they run, so she stopped in my office with a “Run Happy” shirt on just for my benefit!

Well….long story short, in discussions with several wellness runner friends and planning a weekend trip around a MARATHON, I had this nagging thought – “why CAN’T I run even a MILE?” – so I started! First I started with intervals of running and walking, then I tried to run simply a half mile without stopping. That attempt was in June. I decided since a runner friend of mine stretched herself out of her comfort zone and took an 8-hour bellydance workshop from me at least year’s conference that I would find a way to run the 5k race at the conference this year! I did it!!! 3.1 miles after 5-6 weeks of training!

That was kind of thrilling and shocking at the same time! Here I was RUNNING - ok since I am slow, I suppose the technical term is JOGGING...! I literally have never run 3.1 miles in my lifetime! So, now I am signing up for a mini-triathlon in August through the YMCA, and a 10k in my hometown in September in order to push myself outside that box again and to prepare for this HALF MARATHON crazy idea! I just last night ran 5.45 miles.....WHATTTTT???? Who IS this girl? HAHA

So, WOW – I’ve thought back over the years and all that I have tried simply to push myself, to be uncomfortable, to break the mundane, to step outside the routine – all ultimately to grow, to learn, and I ask you the same. What have you done to push yourself? To try new things? To stretch, grow and learn? What have you done for your health and well-being? Creativity? Please share your story and send to tabatha@divadigitaldesign.com
Delightful Daring Developing, Digital Diva :)

Make New Friends, But Keep the Old...

Remember that song from maybe girl scouts or church camp? Well I happen to GO to camp with my friend that I've STILL known since kindergarten! I feel blessed that we are still friends, and have come through a LOT of stuff together!


KINDERGARTEN? We made it through elementary school and then moved across town and our journey did not end. Then there were moves, boy friends, sports, life...and then add weddings, a couple of babies each - yup, still connected, still ticking. Then we have life's harder edges - deaths, divorce, yet more moves. We have still come through connected somehow! YEAH! And it hasn't always been easy - some probably wonder why we are friends - because we seem so different! She is about as shy as they come, and I.....umm....not so much! ;) We don't know either and sometimes we don't 'get' it!

Well this year, we have a NEW addition, since I am dating someone (pretty wonderful!) and we all went CAMPING together! One never knows how that will go - but, meals, campfires, four-wheeling, fishing and chatting all the while - I think it went pretty damn well - and that means a lot to me - because ALL of these people mean a lot to me!

~Daring, Delightful Diva - for more pictures and some great landscapes CLICK HERE and for your own memories captured, Dial the Diva at 406-498-6993, or email tabatha@divadigitaldesign.com

Full Circle in Creative Endeavors

National Wellness Conference - nobody that has not gone can even comprehend what goes on there, but those of us that have??? LIFE-ALTERING each and every year. This year was no different....well it was different, that's for sure - but Miss Sandy Queen that has gone for darn near ALL the 38+ conferences said to me "it's come full circle" and she was right!

I began attending in 2001, and that first year I got to experience the finale Talent Show and was brought to tears it was so inspiring!! Each year after that I would long for a talent and since I didn't have one, nor was I on stage much, I participated in things like David Roth's Instant Angelic Choir in the back row of 40 people! I was doing something - more importantly, that 'something" was my new theme - pushing myself! Or as my friend Shanen and I experienced when someone told us "I love you two, you really push yourselves outside your box" and we simultaneously looked at each other and said "WHAT BOX?" It's my thing.

So, each year I would push myself in some way or another, and in 2009 I took a women's sensuality ALL-DAY workshop with Dr. Deb Kerns - amazingness!!! AND that same year for the talent show, Lisa Medley asked me to take part in her vision of a semi-choreographed free dance called the Movement Choir! WHAT??? No way!! I'd never been on stage, taken a dance class....then I stopped myself!! I said "self? you are AT the wellness conference for goodness sake, DO IT!" Well I did!! It was so moving, that afterward I told the co-dancers that I would do SOMETHING in the talent show next year. Well, guess what I did? I took BELLYDANCE classes for a YEAR and I did perform a solo dance in 2010 at the wellness conference!

The FULL CIRCLE doesn't end there!! I performed more and more, and then in 2012 I even taught an 9-hour all day workshop and I got several ladies to perform what I taught them all day for the talent show!!! It still doesn't end there! This year, at least two people came up to me and said they signed up for the Talent Show, or took a class since last year, or tried something new because of ME!!!! WOW!!! Little ol' ME! That felt incredible that I literally inspired someone! I can cross that off my Bucket Box (yup, it's a BOX/Board on Pinterest! Follow me here).

One additional thing that Sandy mentioned in her FULL CIRCLE was that for her, with years of the conference, she has to learn in time to hand over things to others - and said with my new photography business adventure, that she could see that someday (when I'm ready to settle down at the computer sometimes to do it!) that she could pass the annual slide show of photos and memories to me - and I loved that some of my photos from all week were used in this year's final slide show....full circle.

ONE MORE thing - since my RUNNER friends took a bellydancing workshop from me last year, I've been trying another new thing - RUNNING - so I also ran my FIRST 5k at this year's conference!! More on THAT experience in another blog HERE!

So what have you done to push yourself, to try something new? What can you do today? Trust me, it feels AMAZING!!!!! Let me know! Comment here, or email me at tabatha@divadigitaldesign.com
~ Daring, Delightful Diva ~

Diva in the Making - Gorgeous and supportive!

 

 

Divas are within us - but having it come OUT of us is a whole 'nother story! I get to help bring on the DIVA in front of the camera! Talk about a FUN and crazy experience! I did not know when I took on photography that a 'specialty' would blossom...or DEVELOP....but the Daring Diva line surely has!

I think there are several reasons that I see why this is becoming popular with all my DIVAS - to feel pretty, sexy, empowered, own our bodies, SEE that we are beautiful, divine creatures...in spite of the media, men, each other and the world, with the criticizing, perfection, and expectations. We focus on your favorite parts, we minimize self-conscious elements to bring out the BEST of you all to your own comfort level!
It is delightful to get downright daring with these divas!

I thank this special Daring Diva extra - for her support, encouragement in all things I try to DIVE into - Including DivaDigitalDesign, my new photography business! Thank you, Miss Diva - you know who you are!
~Daring, Delightful Diva~

Moving Blog!

Hello everyone!
It has been a while since I have written here, and you were probably wondering if I moved on, quit, etc!  Life was and is in a lot of wonderful transition, and I also was reassessing my creative outlets and venues! 

I have officially opened a new photography business and with that website, I shall move my blog over there - I will still share stories, inspirations from the view of my photography, motherhood, couplehood and more!

Please find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/DivaDigitalDesign
and the website is at www.divadigitaldesign.com and the blog is on the Diva Diaries page at http://www.divadigitaldesign.com/divadiaries.html for you to follow along, and enjoy more posts and photography both!
~Dancing on to DivaDigitalDesign - Daring, Delightful Diva!  :)

Camera Shy Diva is Born!

Miss Rosemary approached me while at National Wellness Conference about professional portraits

Like many, if I could get Rosemary comfortable, making her laugh, the natural smiles would just emerge and she would glow! I could see right away that I had some GREAT shots, so to add to her comfort and confidence, I gave her a sneak peek and BAM - instantly she could see and feel that she could get some great photos to enjoy and work with!

Thank you SOOO mucn for the honor, the experience to being out the Dynamic Diva in you! 
and quickly explained that she is 'camera-shy' - what??? She is gorgeous as you can see, so we had to try this and get her pictures to show the essence of her being and for her wellness business!

Diva Digital Design is BORN!!!

Find yourself doing something naturally? Are things coming toward you in all different directions? Does it take a lot of "signs" for you to really get where your next path is taking you? Well that's me!!
I have taken photos for YEARS!

Finally, the kicker was being asked to take photos for someone prior to her wedding, so BAM - it was so invigorating and such an honor, inspiring and trusting experience, I decided to GO WITH IT! Stretch myself, push the envelope, try new things, and be outside my box! LOVING IT!!! More to come!
~Daring, Delightful DIGITAL Diva!

Apologies anyone???

We have all learned in life that people will mistreat us, hurt our feelings, etc - which lead to apologies.  And boy have I had quite the recent experience on this topic and thought more on this.

First off, let's dig in, shall we?  A "friend" got so drunk-ass on me, was obnoxious, said and did things for an afternoon, through dinner, and well into the evening until passing out cold....that I got the joy of putting up with that garbage and inappropriate stuff if you will. I felt like a teenager babysitting honestly...and should have left, except I am always the 'nice girl' - hindsight now tells me I should have! HAHA 

The next day "Apologies" ensued, with the instant expectation that I should just forgive and forget, but there is a big BUT......But, one did not even remember what was said or done, so I had the joy of repeating the story and all that happened, and also it made the so-called apology feel empty and over-arching, general and meaningless.  And who really expects someone to just blanket get over it in one moment anyway?  Just because YOU can't remember what you did to someone, doesn't mean they forget too, at least instantly!

So I thought more about apologies and that I teach my young children how to apologize better than that.  I've taught them that the words are just words unless you DO something - take action.  I teach them they need to DO something to make it right, or to make the person feel better, or take actions to improve their behavior, etc.  They are very much learning and apologize far better than this 'grown-up' ;)

In thinking more about apologies in general, and even being chastised by this person on being 'weird' for my apology stance that one would or should perhaps offer to pay me back for the drunkfest that I got to sit through, I decided to look more into apologies.  There are different STYLES that each person falls into, believe it or not!  You may have heard of the Five Love Languages, and Dr. Chapman has also written on the 5 Languages of Apologies.  I am very clearly and strongly one type - and obviously have been teaching my children along those lines too.  Find out more and what type you are here:  Apology Language Profile.  I fall into two strongly:  Accepting Responsibility, and Making Restitution - in other words, the doing something to make it right or make the person feel better. 

So I'm not WEIRD (ok maybe I am of course, just not in my thinking on apologies!)....this person is a jerk who can't own the behaviors, do anything to make the situation better or more forgivable to earn that forgiveness, and honestly is just a not-so-masked-jerk to begin with, clearly unmasked by alcohol and a very probable drinking problem if you are in your 40s and still drink so much to pass out and literally not remember?  Come on!   Oh and the best part of this deal????  The sober, next day, still trying to gain forgiveness and said "if we were at a different level, I wouldn't have gotten that bad" phrase - I was OUT.....so it's OKAY????? to treat your friends like a drunk-ass jerk, simply because she's a friend and you're not getting LAID?????  OMG I was outta there!!!  Even a jerk in the apology department! 

I thought you'd get a kick out of this too, maybe learn something new along the way, and might be interested to see what your apology language is, your partner's, your children's, or what direction you'd like to teach them - as long as we have more sincerity and good people in the world because of it - and less jerks! HAHA!  Oh, and if you are interested, here are the Five Love Languages too!

Happy apologizing everyone!
Your Delightful, Dancing, Daring Diva :)

What do you WANT from me???

Well, a song by Jerrod Neiman struck my ears - after receiving a text from someone from the past - YUP!  Disappearing acts - return for various reasons all the time - WHY???

"What do you want, what do you want from me?  You keep taking me back, taking me back, to where I've already been - can't you see, what it does to me?"

I thought and pondered the reasons why someone returns and the timing of that return (happened to be the night before a DATE of all things! UGH!).  Someone shared with me this quote: "The thief of hearts always returns to the scene of the crime"- hmmm....is it guilt?  Curiosity? Need for closure?  Apologies?  A BOOTY CALL?  Simply checking the temperature for any of those things?  I think it can vary widely, honestly, but the point is that for the recipient - IT IS HARD - hard to see the phone number or text, knowing full well who it is, wondering immediately what they want.  Even just taking you back, as Jerrod sings - to that time, when you thought it was a great thing, good relationship, your chance, your turn, the awesomeness....and the ultimate end and hurt, even confusion. 

I have a friend who teaches a singles class for post divorce or break-up - and he read me a passage about the 'dumper' and the 'dumpee'.  In essence, the dumper has an obligation to be clear and blunt when breaking up; none of this "EASY" crap or dragging something out, or being an ass so the dumpee breaks up with them, being simply being wishy washy.  You want to break up, then DO IT!  It passes a clear and final message to the dumpee and allows them to move on easier.  Period.  Plain. Simple.  It hurts regardless, but why hurt the dumpee even more? 

I'm always unsure of what to do when you hear from someone again - there is a little girl in us that would LOVE for it to be begging for us back, wanting to make it right - AND of course that it CAN be made right!  What is UP with that?????  Messed up kind of thinking! 

In reality, I had to clarify my values, remind myself what I am worth and found myself thinking back to the blog on "He's Just Not that Into You" and "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" stuff.  Good stuff, so here it is for YOU - guy or gal!  We ought to be with people who are into us, treating us right, and we deserve respect and decency.  Walk away...NO....RUN!  Make room for someone with decency, respect, kindness.

I shall dive, dance, and delightfully MOVE ON much faster next time!
Deliciously Delightful Diva :)