The Big-Little 4-0 !

Milestone birthday in the midlde of an already milestone year!  The recent engagement winding up in 2014 has led to delightful and fun wedding plans (post coming soon), but also with a 40th birthday coming up TODAY, I have been thinking about my life. 

I have run across things like the "40 best things about being 40" to "20 things that were 20 years ago that will make you feel old" and more!  I decided that I will write my own list of things that I am HAPPY about at age 40! 

1. I like not caring what other people think about me.
2. I realize that not everyone will like me and that's ok!
3. I no longer waste time dwelling on such little things - or try not to and catch myself quickly if I am!
4. I love watching our kids grow, learn and experience - and we are inthe heart of dating, boys, girls, feelings, and with that will come the hurts, the pains and trying to make it better.
5. With watching our young ones, comes thoughts and realizations that all those broken hearts, aches, pains and hurts - that we really did come out better on the other side of things, and we WERE OKAY....and that our kiddos will BE OKAY too!
6. I can truly see most life experiences as 'life's learning lessons' - which helps lesson the worry, the stress, and the drama to keep things in perspective...that this too shall pass, AND I will learn from it.
7. Learning is a choice that I take on in full force.  I will learn from a poorly cooked meal, a moment with a child that didn't go as planned, to a new skill - I know I make that choice to learn!
8. I care about my looks, without caring about my looks!  Meaning that I CARE for myself, my skin, my health far better than I did at 20, but I don't get sucked into CARING about my looks - no vanity, I'll go out without makeup on without stressing.  It is what it is and I am who I am.
9. I care about the world in a far bigger and smaller picture than my younger days.  I care how we will leave the world to the kids and do my best to take care of that.
10. I like having the perspective to be older and wiser.
11. And the energy to feel like I am 30, okay maybe 20!
12. I like being 40 and considered a "cool mom" :) Mission accomplished, sort of!   When you quit caring about being cool, you oddly become the coolest that you have ever been!
13. I like making decisions for myself and my family, and not for someone else, to please anyone.
14. I like having the confidence to do what I would like.
15. And if I have the confidence to do what I like, I also have gained the ability to set aside fears to try new things!
16. I like my wiser selection in friends - bringing closer to me with like values, morals, lifestyles and thinking.
17. I now will remove toxic relationships - or just not acquire them in the first place. Not worth it.
18. I value my friendships deeply, and gravitate towards those who do as well. 
19. I rock my own style - I find things that I like, and have the confidence to wear what looks good on me.
20. I realize the BEST thing that looks good on my is a genuine smile, which I wear daily!
21. It's nice when you realize nothing is the end of the world....even nasty bosses!  Just like on the surgical floor years ago when I had an 'icky' patient, I stepped back and realized 'this isn't forever, they will leave this unit adn go elsewhere at some point!' So, either myself or the other person will eventually move on. 
22. Speaking of nasty people in the workplace, I have found that difficult people serve one purpose for me - they make me STRONGER and BETTER, so I thank them for this growth opportunity!
23. And still on that note, I no longer take it PERSONALLY, which is a very hard thing to realize.  When someone is lashing out at you, doesn't handle their stress well, or that you see it with other people - it's NOT ME!  Take a deep breath on the inside and this too shall pass!
24. I don't care that I have laugh lines and wrinkles - I LAUGH and it shows! 
25. I have a backbone - I will stand up for myself and will not compromise my values, beliefs. 
26. I will respect others and their beliefs even if I don't understand or agree.
27. I love watching my children grow and develop into fine human beings, and I hope that part of that doing was my parenting skills.
28. I like that I am educated in my field, work IN that field and have passion for what I do every single day.  Did I say EVERY. SINGLE. DAY?  YUP, that's me!
29. I am comfortable being full of rainbows and sunshine...Life is TOOOO short to be any other way, and why so negative? 
30. I laugh every day.  Did I say EVERY. SINGLE. DAY?  Yup, also too short of life to not fill it with as much joy as humanly possible!
31. I find value in every person - and see their purpose in my life - for a reason, season or lifetime.  I revel in it, figure it out, then let things just happen. 
32. I am happy that I left a marriage that wasn't working for years, and figured out who I was, raised my standards and waited for the right man to come along.
33. I am happy that I had dating experiences, sometimes laughable, terrible, horrible, real bad dates...but I learned from every one of them!  I hope that our children learn from every date or person they have too!
34. I am glad I am where I am today - everything happens for a reason, and every experience we go throguh brings us here. 
35. I don't care that I am DIVORCED...and have been for a long long time.  Was it my intention?  Not at all!  But I do believe sometimes, everyone involved is better off after divorce, myself included.
36. I am happy for my children that their father and I divorced.  Was it always easy, or still?  But the other side of the coin would be so much more worse for everyone involved, and for that I have no regrets, and I will not feel ashamed about it. 
37. I am happy that I have three new bonus kids in my life, and that I like to say BONUS kids and not STEP kids.  They are an addition, a joy to add, so a bonus. :)
38. I am very very happy to be engaged to a wonderful man, gaining a family, and making things official on April 10, 2015. 
    
39. I am utterly in bliss with our relationship, could care less what other people think about him, or us, and that was a change for me.  What do you think?  Do you like him?  I never once worried about it.  And everyone, or nearly, just loves him, loves us, and are overjoyed for us.
40. I am THRILLED that I will be getting married in my 40th year!  I have indeed waited a long time, I dated trial and error, lots of error, I didn't jump too far in, I took my time, I cut my losses, or was left with a broken heart.  It took me until now to figure this out, to feel solid, trust, secure, and truly IN this in order to SAY YES, and to soon SAY I DO as well - when I am forty!  AND I don't care what anyone thinks of our wedding plans, reception plans, we are doing this the way we want, with whom we want and celebrating this BIG LIFE EVENT!