Closure? Change? Bring it!!!

New Year's is always a time of resolutions for most folks- weight loss, quit smoking, etc. For me New Year's in 2011 became quite a big deal when I moved to a new town with two children, knew not a soul, and did it all in a couple weeks' time frame at the holidays! It was a crazy hectic, life-changing time, and I had so many changes in one year, that at the end, and of course approaching the holidays last year, I couldn't  help but reflect.  I was even quite weepy about it all - in a good way!

Within a year I had gone from losing my job, struggling there, my roles being mom, single, family and friend roles, and there was a large struggle with my ex and his family as well. In that year and life overhaul, I met wonderful people who welcomed us, found great things to do, and it felt like home, so my New Years process has now become quite a thing about reflection rather than resolutions, though even I cannot help creating some as well! ;)

With my giant move, tons of change and overhauling in 2011, it felt like 2012 would be my year....only to now reflect again at this time and find out 2012 seems a bit more about some learning lessons and really about closure for me...From law suits, boundary setting, relationships, and heartaches - my life has been changing and shifting all year. Not that in the big picture of things, all of this in 2012 wasn't worth it because man alive it has been!  Awesome in fact!!! My 2012 reflection is here at New Year, New Direction.

So, in 2012 here's the scoop, lesson, experience or closure that I was meant go through to prepare me for more in 2013 and beyond!

• A relationship or two that didn't work out -

• Some disappearing acts that you don't get closure on or even the decency of a conversation - learning to let go and close it out on your own, while not making yourself crazy trying to understand - good one.  Because I didn't get this lesson the first time, I had a couple joyous events in this year!  I think I've got it now!  Now I tend to think - not for me if they choose to behave this way, dodged bullet, red flag averted, and making room for someone worthy of my time!  Yup!  I've come a long way baby - Life hands us lessons all the time and we get to see our progress sometimes - that we truly handle things differently - better!
• Because I'm listening to the universe better, I hope that I don't get Blind-sided...NOT! I'd like to learn the lessons, see the big picture, see the red flags - all of it - SOONER!   
• And I have in this year and this year alone - learned to Express Myself!  I can say what I need to say, respectfully and all, but have figured out how to say 'hey, that is unacceptable to me' or 'that hurt my feelings' and more!  YEAH!
• I've also learned after several lessons to finally do the Hard Things - those things that are against your nature that someone else needs - for me, that is giving space, when I want to support, nurture, and be there for someone.  At least I finally learned how to do it! 
• And I have learned that rejection isn't a bad thing, but someone moving out of the way for who you are supposed to be with, or who you are supposed to be.
• Ex and the Legal Battle - My ex has had trouble with me and is not easy to work with, including starting in 2011 when he quit paying on a loan he owed me and I got the joy of really asking myself what my options were and what I could live with.  I decided it was now or never to ride out the big possibilities, and attempted small claims court to get my money - which in turn angered him and in the big picture he felt it more important to keep pushing me around, hoping I'd give up and took this to all new levels I didn't think were possible all the way until court on December 6, 2012. I got to go through proposed parenting plan, defenses, defend contempt charges he filed, sit through depositions, and many court dates later I had to sit through court as well.  I did not get my way fully, but quite a lot!  And the BIGGER lesson learned was that I was strong enough and that I set boundaries and did not cave, did not let him push me around - forevermore - and I hope that he learned that as well and things will get better in the long run! 
• I enjoyed Christmas and the New Year - last year and this year - I literally don't remember much of that Christmas I moved, so choosing to really enjoy it and time with family and friends makes it all worth it now, and I am ever grateful for everyone who has supported me, been there, helped me, and I try to also have that attitude of helping others as well. 
• I have learned finally to listen better to God's plan, the universe, my higher power, whatever you are comfortable with - that things really do fall into place when they are right, sometimes other things fall apart for something to fall into place, and that I need to listen and speed up this process - quit fighting it. 
• In dating, that means mistreatment, no respect, decency, I am pretty much out.  I am not conceited, but know enough that I really am a smart, good, kind, giving, available woman and worthy of being treated well.  We all deserve that - I treat others well, and i expect the same in return.  Soooo, I have finally learned to RAISE MY VALUE :)
• In parenting, it means that I do what is best for my kids and I listen TO what that best is - I do my best to work with their dad and family, and think of them and their higher good as well.  Also, that I am teaching them along the way to honor yourself, your values, your passions, enjoy all life has to offer, to try new things, and for them to be outside their boxes as well!
• In work, it is listening and seeing the bigger picture, so when one person makes things difficult, I can step back, look for what the universe is providing me, handle it well, learn from it and keep on building a stellar career to set myself up for awesome opportunities now and in the future!
• In my personal life, I listen to the universe on friends, hobbies, things I enjoy - and I follow my passions - my passions will lead me to connect with amazing people along the way that help fulfill my life and share in those passions and creative outlets.
• In my purpose on life, I am starting to listen to that purpose, see that purpose, and am blessed to do for a living where I find passion - in living your best life, being healthy, and the bigger picture - teaching others to do so - whether it be seeing, teaching, or showing:
• nutritional changes, exercise and healthy lifestyle or
• ways to get outside your box and find a passion, or
• how I balance my life, and find peace, or
• the Power of Positive and the way I live, or
• finding Inspiration and Newness wherever I go, or 
• finding, seeing and listening for those Ah-ha moments! 

I am listening more to what opportunities I have to do that, or where I should or could! I don't want to bore you with my own reflection on 2013, but to stir your own reflections - what have you done in 2012, learned, experienced, shared?  What do you want out of 2013?  Set your intentions now not as a resolution, but a bigger picture way of thinking - know in your heart, mind, and soul what you want for your life, and set that intention to bring it to you.  Then live your life according to that - don't contradict with what you want, or if you catch yourself, correct your course throughout the year in 2013 and beyond!

Here's to 2013 - daring, bold, drastic, delightful, joyous times ahead!

Daring, Delightful, Dancing Diva :)

Legal Battle....

I have finally come to a close on a legal issue and while I do not want to get into the details, I certainly have some thoughts and feelings surrounding the entire process.  I do want to share with those that care, and also share some things I learned along the way! I am in tears as I type, they just keep flowing, as if a giant release and floodgates have been opened.  They are tears of relief for sure, and of de-stressing, but also of joy - the joy in moving forward without this weight, joy of moving forward to new energy, joy of better things to do and deal with, and joys of resetting boundaries to work better together.  Mostly somehow they are tears of joy knowing that this only makes room for more joy and good things to land in my life!!!!  YIPPEE!!!

So at the root of the issue is that divorce can be ugly, and I have learned that even years later it can still be/get ugly, even if it is against your personal nature, positive outlook and that you don't want the drama, expense, or toll on the entire family, mostly the kiddos involved - but I found myself almost a year and a half ago having to determine a course of action that was in reaction to things thrown at me.  I had to assess some information from the other side and really get down to what I could live with in the long run - and I chose to go ahead and withstand the legal route.  I determined that the solution was not within my power and that things would not end until a judge intervened, which has finally happened today.  I really had to get down to my values, my core beliefs, and even those were tested, doubted...I am glad that I withstood this process. 

I have moved on and grown for years and built myself up, had so so many good things and people land in my life, I would wonder how or why an ex would care about a minute amount of money to spend thousands and a year and a half trying to avoid, only to end up financially worse off in the long run....there is at the root likely some jealousy, spite, resentment, or leftover anger.  But it is not my problem anymore. I am hoping that for the kids' sake since we have several more years ahead of us, that this will reset the boundaries, what is acceptable, what is not - and that I will no longer be pushed around at the whim, desires, lack of planning, or responsibility of someone else. 

For ME in this I learned that I can build even stronger roots to withstand the storm, to bend without breaking, to do things without knowing how I could, and wanting to throw in the towel many times.  I did come out stronger on the other side.  ~I am woman, I bend, I don't break!

At some point I let go of the outcome - I did know it couldn't have gotten any worse than what was offered in mediation - but for me I trusted that all would work out in the long run, and that releasing that exact outcome freed my heart and mind to draw it to me.  I tried my hardest not to let the negative in, the fears, the worries, the what if's...HAD HAD HAD to trust in the process, the universe and that good will come to good.  :)

The outcome has been ruled and my lawyer is writing up the plan - and it is soon done....before the holidays, in time to close out 2012, move forward....into 2013.  Bring it on!  I am pleased with the outcome, my lawyer is thrilled, my family and friends are thrilled.  Did I get absolutely everything? Nope.  Do I disagree with some things?  Yep.  Did I endure hearing lies on the stand?  Yep.  Did I come out 'ahead'?  Yep.  Did the other party hopefully learn a lesson?  Hopefully!  If not, it's not my problem at least!  Now I wouldn't want to be in that household this evening, and am quite content to be cozied up in my bed writing this, clearing out my head, my heart, making room for all this unabashed goodness to come.

I have MANY thanks & much gratitude - to friends, family, loved ones that have had to endure this with me - over the phone, in person, in silence, in yelling, in sending positive energy, love, light, prayers and more my way.  I am strong, but it takes a village sometimes - you have listened, hugged, offered that shoulder for tears at times, taken me dancing, out, exercised with me, breathed with me, built positive playlists, you name it!!! - you have been there for me, and I am grateful.  Ever more and may you find peace and light and know you can count on me.  

Off to sleep a peaceful, stress-free sleep tonight!
Daring, Delightful, inDebted, enDuring Diva :)

Outside my Box!

I've thought for years that I live my best life when I push myself, try new things - or as I like to call it - LIVE OUTSIDE MY BOX!!!! You know...that COMFORT ZONE...the one we all get so comfy in! ;)



FlourishAfter50.com

Well, divorce can do a world of good for some people, and I am one of them.  It's been years, but I set myself up then with rules for figuring out who I was again, and I would recommend this for everyone!  I knew that I needed to make myself do new things, meet new people, expand my horizons in order to find my passions, bliss, peace, harmony and balance, as a mom and as a woman.

So I basically set ONE RULE:  To not turn anything down that I was invited to.  Nothing.  And certainly if I hadn't been getting invited to things, or if you are not very social by nature, it can help to add that you make yourself do one thing per week, or something like that.  It worked for me and I have applied that rule for myself over and over again - new...brave, bold, SEE! 

Since then, I have gone to game nights where I only knew the hostess, ended up meeting and making friends with other folks!  SUCCESS!  So then it was on to finding activities I enjoyed - not just people.  I attend a gym, but made myself try new classes there, new hours, new new new...it works!  Mix it UP!  And that is always good physically anyway! 

Let's fast forward to this last week - ALL NEW 100% for over a WEEK!!!!  A while back, antsy to BE outside my box some more, to grow, to learn to experience and see the world some more - I booked a TRIP!!  To see my friend that lives in Arizona near the Mexico border and I DID IT...booked it, ordered my Passport so 1) I could see Mexico that I've not yet, and 2) to GET and USE a passport for the first time!  My newness and outside my box began even before I left!  How exciting!

So, while there I was completely OPEN about what we did....I made it clear to her, who knows me well - this outside the box thinking, even on where and what we chose to EAT!  So aside for a gorgeous, nature explosion compete to Montana, which was great and new and soaking it in to my very being deep on the inside....I also tried NEW things:

• ROCK-CLIMBED in the Arizona desert 
• Enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner NOT actually ON Thanksgiving Day, out in the desert watching the sunset
• Thanksgiving Dinner was VEGAN even with a Tofurkey roast and all! :)
• Hugged a GIANT Cactus (ok, pretended to hug, come on!)
• Learned to shoot GUNS!  And let's get real - I AM a girl from Montana so the fact that I haven't learned to shoot guns, wow!
• BEACH with feet in the sand in November, in CA, not ever been!
• Sea World to see WHALES, dolphins, and like a kid pet the Sting Rays too!
• Margaritas in Mexico, along with delicious food and bargaining at all the shops
• Thai food in San Diego Gas Lamp District

I never saw myself doing any of these things, and certainly not all in a single week - but I did and it was GREAT for my soul, my well-being!  I even was in capris and flip flops and 84 degrees, only to land at the end of my flight home to FOUR DEGREES and snow!! I did not care in the least, because I see value and beauty in that as well. 

Life is GOOOOOOOOOOD, and I highly recommend pushing your own boundaries even in little ways.  Try new restaurants, foods, activities, with or without your partner, kids, family, friends.  DO IT, I dare you!  What's the worst that could happen you ask?

Well, surely things can happen, but as Georgia O'Keefe said : "I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it stop me from doing a single thing."

So was I terrified?  Nervous? Scared? Thrilled?  YES! I am a frequent flyer to the shoulder dislocation program and feared rock climbing putting my joint at risk - it was hard, but I was with the right people, experienced, safe, knew my injury, and I DID IT....give it a try - life really is too short!  Grab it all in while you can! 
Dancing, DARING, Delicious Diva! :)

The Hard Things...

Sometimes in life we get the 'opportunity' to do the hard things for us, but may be the thing someone else needs most, even if it goes against the grain of what we want to do, who we are, or how we operate.

One thing I can admit to being difficult for me, is to allow someone SPACE...and I cannot help but feel that at times that I just keep receiving that lesson from the universe....until I LEARN IT!  Grrrrr!

Sooooo, SPACE...I operate differently most of the time, if I am stressed, having a hard time - I have learned to reach out to friends or family or loved ones for support, for ideas, for motivation, and sometimes for that slap in the face to set myself straight.  I am the same way on the receiving end....that I am there for friends, family, loved ones when THEY need anything as well.

So, why is it SOOO difficult to just sit back, to do nothing, to sit in silence, to allow someone that space?  I believe it is because you care for them, you want to help, you want to fix it, things like that.  But, maybe selfishly you also want them to want you, to need you, even if they don't know what for, but you'd like them to reach out to you as well, simply because that is how YOU operate.  And while I have good intentions 100% of the time, I am seeing that it may not come across that way.  So, offering time, comfort, ideas, anything, time, when someone wants to have space, that it simply ends up being the exact OPPOSITE of what they want or need!  UGH!  The crux of the matter. 

So what does this tell me?  I don't even fully know...other than I feel like I am being tested and failing AGAIN...and that I need to step up and DO THIS!  What's the worst thing that can happen?  Someone disappears, doesn't want you, doesn't need you, maybe even unintentionally doesn't treat you well - hopefully all of that is temporary, and I suppose if it is not, then it wasn't meant to be...and we figure out how to pick up the pieces and move onward and forward....again.

In the meantime, until that becomes clear, what can I do in the meantime?  Behind the scenes if you will?  I can pray, send good vibes, thoughts, and I can take care of myself to not stress, feel upset, and to stay positive, solution-oriented, find things that bring joy, happiness, and stay busy.  Resort back to things I have learned in my past, ways that I learned to think, use the law of attraction and more, bringing and attracting more good to me and those around me, hoping for all to benefit. 

I am hoping through space, and learning to do this for someone that I see a positive outcome, whatever that may be...I am hoping that I can 'get' this lesson and see the benefit for me as well.

Come a long way baby!

Remember that phrase? We've come a long way baby? I don't even remember where it is from, but I have noticed that I HAVE COME A LONG WAY!! I get to once in a while catch a glimpse of that progress, often during difficult times, and have realized that is sometimes when we experience the most growth.


Things are changing, life is evolving, I have changed and will continue to grow, learn. I do, however, handle things differently - I have learned new skills and new ways of thinking, and sometimes when something happens and you respond differently, you react differently, or think differently - that is when you get to say AH-HA...I truly have reached a different level and choose to no longer behave in those unhealthy ways that do not serve me, look at me go! :)



Once you recognize those little or big moments that you chose a different path, then you get to build on that direction as well and just keep going, soaring! Oh we will stumble, we will once in a while revert to an old way of thinking or behaving, but it does take time to really overhaul a lifetime of behaviors, patterns, reactions, and OH the thinking, how that is so difficult to change.



Open those doors, do the work, make different choices, grow, develop, pass it on to your kids - new direction is oh so sweet, and so worth those efforts. I am happier than I once was in this new life; it feels good to me, and your life should feel good - I am behaving in ways that serve my higher good, my nature, my purpose. It resonates with who I am and who I want to be.



What resonates with you? How do you want to be? What changes do you want to make? What ways of thinking do you want to be differently? Make a small change, see how it goes, make that shift toward a new path, a new direction...it FEELS GOOD, sometimes even when it doesn't for a bit, it does feel great in the long run!


Daring, Delightful Diva :)

Express Yourself

How many of you have had your feelings hurt? Of course we have! Tons of times and in tons of ways by tons of people right? Oh let me count the ways! I find myself in this predicament again, and this time I am looking at the ME side of the equation, so yeah for this learning experience - I suppose!

So, here's the ME part I find a little odd - I am articulate, educated, bold, and speak my mind - about MANY things ~~ except often I hold my tongue in situations with those I care about, whether it be family, friends, or dating. Perhaps I still just don't much care for conflict, maybe there is some fear with friends or dating that we won't get past it, that people will leave, maybe a fear of saying something I might regret - and just because they have hurt me, I refuse to purposely hurt them back. But really, if people would leave your life because you DO speak up and say your feelings and that your feelings are hurt and why, and even that they may have had a part in that process, are they really worth having in your life? I suppose a relationship of any kind, even family, has got to be able to handle conflict and discourse, and hopefully you come out stronger.

So, for those of you men or women who are in my boat where you find yourself sometimes NOT saying how you feel? This is what I have learned over the last few months - it is quite freeing to own the feelings, to say how you feel, to say you are hurting, angry, or whatever. DO IT, give it a try, it is pretty great! Ok, it sucks that it happened, and sucks that someone may have hurt your feelings, I won't lie...but there is some great freedom to find a way to express your feelings in a mature, adult manner - what happened, how it hurt your feelings, and THE feelings! Even trying to pinpoint what the feelings are can be difficult!

Come on EXPRESS YOURSELF!

So, once we own the feelings, which if you are new at labeling them, finding the actual feeling, how or why you feel that way, then comes the hard part - letting go and forgiving if you can...the important next step. Here I go!

I do hope that I can teach my children better conflict management, feeling ownership and communication in this process ~ it really is such a life lesson and skill, and so many of us yell, cuss, 'fight,' avoid, or try passive-aggressive, or aggressive behaviors among other things - all defense mechanisms really since our feelings are hurt. But I want to try this with my kids, and have found myself telling them their feelings are theirs, they own them, can feel them, express them, so I think I am on my way...while learning along the way myself!

Happy, Delightful, expressing everyone!
Daring, Delightful Diva

Power of Positive

My friends and family are starting to 'get' the way my life works and the almost kooky power of positive thinking.  I often get asked "how do you do that?" or "how did you get that?" - my answer is often the same - I think I CAN, feeling like the lil' Engine That Could, or that 'it never hurts to ask!'.  My mom said the other day that I am my father's daughter, but I think I have harnessed this in an even better system than my dad - because I play on different characteristics than he has - I play the sweet lil gal, and he has the power of 6'4" and gruff fear! Work what you got! Haha!  Here's how!

OK, let me try to explain - with an example.  A couple years ago, I had to replace my car, rushed after a wreck before rental car time ran out and a trip for a conference.  I looked day and night, all around town and online as well, right?  I had a couple of deals worked out, probably good ones because, after all, I am my father's daughter! But, I couldn't seem to sign on the dotted line...I would have been borrowing only a teeny bit and would have something practical for single mom, kids, decent car about a year old.  Well, then it happened...that gut feeling to not sign was telling me what my boss then filled me in on - my job was 'squishy'.  DAMN!  So, back to the drawing board I went and double time.  I had $8500 in value for my wrecked car, owed $1000, so I said simply - and I believed it - I WILL FIND A CAR FOR $7500 NO PROBLEM!  Now, have you looked on lots for cars under $1000? WOW!  So, I checked Craig's list again...two cars.  In calling on each, I got the car and prices mixed up.  So, when I called this Subaru fella, I asked about the car listed for $6000 - to which he freaked out thinking he placed the ad incorrectly.  Oh, my mistake!  So I noticed he was asking $9850, and lived in a town an hour away, so I told him never mind that was more than I was looking to spend, didn't want to waste our time and I was at the tail END of my buying process.  He said 'wait a tick...my wife and I are moving to Hawaii next week and haven't sold either car, so how about I tell you what our bottom line is and see if that works for you?" Well, his bottom line????   EXACTLY $7500!!!!!   The next day he drove up, title in hand in case it worked out, my car buddy came to meet us to also drive it, and in one hour we were at my bank and the DMV and I owned it!!!!  WOW!!!! 

Now some of you are wondering how I did that?  It is literally my belief system - and the more you think positively, or negatively mind you, the more things happen like that. 
It is called the Law of Attraction. Now you might have heard of The Secret, movie or book, which is a good, but simplified, raw explanation.  It is about the power of our thinking.  Like thoughts attract like thoughts. 

Want an example the opposite way?  You all know of that friend that is so negative all the time and "EVERYTHING" is always going wrong?  I mean, really....ALL THE TIME!?  Law of Attraction...they believe truly to their deepest level that things will go wrong.  The power of their thinking attracts more to them, and more, and more...from the crappy parking spot, to the longest line in the grocery store, to getting overcharged at the next store, and on and on and on...and we all get to hear about it. 

Shift that thinking folks!  Here's how...
1) Ask the universe, put your thoughts out there, firmly, specifically, for real. 
2) Be open to receiving the things you want, really open, no contradicting your desires, set yourself up for success, and
3) BELIEVE it will happen.  This last one is the toughest of the three:  You truly have to believe...and the more success you have, like me, the easier it is to believe it will happen.  Then friends around you start to notice too!

So, when I was losing my job this kicked in for me to the utmost power.  I had to believe with all my might that it really would work out for the best.  I had a good job, I am in a specialized field that could take me across the country to where more larger corporations are.  I believed that the right job, right situation, right place, right time would all work out.  Now, did I believe that job X in Y town or company would be the job?  NO...I trusted in all things to work out for the right things to line up.  We have to remember that it is not up to us to control the who, what, when, where, and why.  We have to do our part to line up our desires with the beliefs, and our part to make things happen.  I do not just sit on the sidelines twiddling my thumbs hoping...this is different.  I was seeking jobs, applying all over, limiting my spending and preparing for in case I didn't find something right away.  I even took in a roommate to help with expenses.  I was smart....but still believed it would work out.  So did my coworker at work who was much support - she said right away and would remind me if I faltered - "I am learning being around you that things really do seem to work out for you, it's weird!"   Well, I landed myself a GREAT job, in a town only 3 hours from home and the kids' dad, which I LOVE that we have some space.  My job has been great, the new town, the people I have met have been amazing...and for a girl who was losing her job only months after purchasing my house to make more money in a cheaper town to live, landed a great renter for my house and have this new life......that just ain't bad!!!!!  THAT'S AMAZING!!! 

So, recently, I tried it with my landlord.  I told him I was working on the yard, improving, landscaping a bit, and asked very politely if he would consider replacing the fridge, which was from the 70's, and rather than wait until it went out.  Well, I asked him to consider in this way....offer me an allowance and to pick one out myself so if I paid a little more then it benefited him as well.  See, I didn't want the tiniest basic fridge with no ice maker.  I also asked him if he would come install the ice maker.  Well, guess what?  I came home from being out of town, to a receipt to a local store here and a note that it was all arranged, paid for, delivery and removal, and that I could go in to upgrade if I wished.  WOW!  It doesn't end there!  I went in and did decide to upgrade, but asked and believed that they would give me a discount on the one I wanted - sure enough!  AND to boot, they arranged delivery that afternoon!!! Waaaaalllah!   It works!

SO, come on, give that power of positive thinking a try!  It truly works, there is enough to go around the world, and the funny thing is that I have learned.  It doesn't hurt does it???? NO!!!  There is no harm in thinking positively; no harm in asking...I get free drinks, extra toppings, great parking spaces....the worst thing that happens is that you are told no....and you move on to the next thing. 

Happy Thinking everyone!
~Daring, Delightful Diva~

Blind-sided....NOT

A while ago I had some heartache to recover from, so it takes a while to remove yourself from it enough to write about.  Today is that day...
I received an email newsletter and one more sign..."10 men you should stay away from and RUN!" or something of that sort...I clicked it open to see about these red flags these 'other women' should be seeing, duhhhhhh!  Well the first two were pretty obvious to me and thought 'why on earth would any woman put up with that?' But then, #3 and maybe #6 and #9 applied to this fella that I had dated and invested my time in.  It made me a bit sad, feel a bit foolish...and it reminded me that my friend and I had discussed quite a long time ago the WHY we put up with garbage being dished out and only came up with ONE answer ----- ready????------we got emotionally attached!!!  Logic had no part in it any longer because you invest yourself, your time, your hopes and heart into the possibility of love and a life with someone...so you no longer see some of these things that you LOGICALLY would tell any girlfriend to RUN FORREST RUN!!!  It opened my eyes...again, so I am grateful for that and the learning experience. 

So I even realized before this newsletter came to me, I have been 'resetting' myself, overhauling my life, reevaluating the men I have been attracting, and RAISING MY VALUE and standards for some future time or chance with someone. 

Just last week I watched He's Just Not That Into You - again...refreshed me on relationships, certain types of men, women and rebuilt my stronger convictions to NOT put up with garbage and to remember, it really IS that simple always - why would we want someone AT ALL that is not totally into us, genuinely and honestly???  I'd rather remain single forever than some of the stuff I have put up with. 

I wrote a long time ago a couple pieces after reading Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - and the MOVIE just came out, so I took myself on a date to see it - and how good it was!  :)  While educating us women, and hopefully you men too, it was also humorous and cute too!  So if one were also wanting to refresh themselves you could check out these old blogs:  The Cookie, and Act Like a Lady too. :)

Here's to being blind-sided...NOT, and instead owning up to MY end of the deal in putting up with less than I deserved all along and allowing the behaviors to continue.  SOOOO, no more!  I will treat myself with enough respect to say 'Naaaaa, I don't need anymore of that!' ~ even if it is difficult in the moment, the long run I will thank me for it...AMEN, sistahs!

I shall wait to be someone's exception - when they quit all the games, bullshit, and drama and literally just want to BE with me, that I am special to them and they don't want to lose me, that I am no longer the 'rule' for all the women before me - and want a healthy, fabulous co-creative experience WITH ME....I AM someone's exception....someday!

Be Daring and still Delightful! :)
~Daring, Delightful Diva~

My Labyrinth Experience...

I was asked some questions from my labyrinth blog and really what it boils down to is this:  What is my personal experience, can I explain it to others?  I realized in those questions that I kind of explained more ABOUT labyrinths, and not how they may affect me, or might bring experiences to you. SO I shall try to capture in words at small smidgen of what happens....for me...

First, since the point is to work your way to your center, and back out into the world, I try to create an experience to get away from the world.  For me that requires music in my ears - to be specific, instrumental only, as lyrics will interrupt my own thoughts and process. 

The entrance to a labyrinth is a time to ground yourself, calm, breathe, and get into a mindset so I will often meditate for a moment outside of it and focus on my breath, get into the 'groove' so to speak. 

Then, what happens varies, but typically I will begin with slow, methodical, ground-touching, earth-feeling steps, often in time with the music so my mind, body, spirit and the earth begin flowing together.  We get out of touch with Mother Earth, so the feet are a good way to get back in touch.

Once I get going, often the music will move me to groove a little, stretch, reach to the sky, scoop energy from the earth, and all kinds of other movements - that's for me and it really just depends on the moment. 

Now, what happens next?  It varies, but often during the meditation, life's questions, struggles, thoughts will start to happen, and I let them roll in, pass by me, let them sit with my body.  See, I am high energy so moving my body and having the music then allows my brain to quiet and let things happen...no fighting them, no analyzing, just allowing the deep, core thoughts, concerns and more just kind of float by you.  Answers are not the point, but often answers will come from the universe, God, a higher power, your soul, being...Often moving into the center, these thoughts or life concerns may come through and then when I reach the center I sit or stand and do a still meditation for a while and let those sit, settle the mud so to speak.  Once leaving the center, the point for me is to feel good and balanced, grounded, centered, sometimes resolution or letting go - so I will dance, often even more joyfully than to the center I came.  It is about reaching the exit again rejuvenated, full of life, love, and ready to enter the world again a little bit better than I came in...

Friends of the Garden - Lewistown, MT

I have travelled all over the area, and since finding the labyrinth locator I will stop and try new ones along my ways.  In fact, part of my last month almost solid of travel, I hit one in Sioux Falls, SD, Helena, MT and Great Falls, MT. 

Red Sun Labyrinth, Victor, MT

I have plans to go this summer to one in Victor, MT and Lewistown, MT.  As I travel all over the country and world I do plan on seeing, finding, and experiencing more.  I plan on teaching my children of these when they are a little bit older to understand the concept, the path in, to the middle and back out, and can focus, be still and quiet for about 30+ minutes.  While we do not regularly go to church and I personally don't believe 'church' is necessary - I DO strongly believe a spiritual grounding and path vital to your personal well-being, so teach them of things along the way to care for themselves and grow and develop into fine human beings. 

Happy Labyrinthing!
~Daring, Dancing, Delightful Diva~

Labyrinths? What the...?

I mentioned labyrinths in my previous post and they truly are inspirational to me and becoming vital to my well-being so I thought I would share a little bit about what they are, their purpose and also how to find them!

Labyrinths are often thought of as a 'maze' but the two are very distinct...while they both have a path, in a maze it is complex branching and options for your path through, and often the point of a maze is to get lost, find your way (like fun fall corn mazes!).  A labyrinth on the other hand is single path leading to and then from the center, with the point of it typically being prayer or meditation - haha, perhaps being 'lost' is a metaphor! 

There are many historical and cultural meanings, functions and purposes you can click here or just Google labyrinths, commonly it represents a journey to your center and back out into the world again, and is a right-brain activity with intuition, creativity and imagery at play - great to stretch that side of ourselves!  My personal purpose is for all of that and includes meditation, grounding, centering and peace....and more - joy, contentment, anything really! 

As pictured, labyrinths come in a variety of styles, shapes, surfaces, and sometimes circuits or rings/layers. They are found all over the world! I even found a labyrinth locator as well!  Click here to find one near you, or if you are like me and enjoy them, search for them along your travels!

Here is what I told a friend who recently tried one for the first time - just keep it simple - walk, music or no music, just do what feels right - if you are like me and dancing moves you, then it will happen...and you just simply remain open to the possibilities of what happens...it will be great!  

Happy Labyrinth-ing!

~ Daring, Dancing, Delightful Diva ~

Inspiration and NEWness...

Many many things and people have influenced my life, but in the last few DAYS it has been cosmically and comically amazing! 

We ALL deserve the best, correct?  So why would we possibly settle for LESS anyway?  How do we get ourselves in that position!?  We (women especially) can overthink something to death, but at times what is the harm in thinking deeply about our lives, our direction and being open to receiving sometimes needed changes?

I am just going to say it out loud - I like who I have become, who I am, and who I will be - partially because I think about my life, my actions, for myself and the affect on others - friends, family, my children, my future.  I don't want to be any different!  I joke that sometimes I'd love to go 'bumbling' through life oblivious, to give my brain a rest - but I don't want to live that way...I like the way I live.  And while I am in the health, wellness and coaching field, we all know we don't follow our own advice, so it took some nudging from the universe to make more changes, be more open, accept some things...and I'm LISTENING ALREADY!  ;)

Others around me happily or unhappily married or single, my children's needs of me, my own needs for me to grow, learn, change, live...have affected me this week, here's how:

• A friend willing to take a risk and let go of someone 'old' and book a flight to meet someone 'new'; or another friend unhappy in her job took action, updated resume and is doing something about it to make that change!
• Unhappily married friends teaching me what I won't settle for and that we all deserve the most minute ounce of respect - I'd rather remain single forever...
• Someone being inspired by what I had to say or a post on Facebook, this blog, or shared over a glass of wine
• Actions as well as lack of actions of others; either way you get to see someone's character and whole being and that's a good thing!
• Meditating the way I see fit through a labyrinth (More on labyrinths coming up! o OK I have blogged about the labyrinths now - click here!)- unconventionally perhaps by instrumental meditation music in my ears to block out the world around me for a bit, and dancing...yep, dancing and moving my body through it - and moving me to laughter, tears, smiles, and JOY and CONTENTMENT, and inspiration TODAY - hence this blog! 
• After the labyrinth and meditation, hitting shuffle on a playlist of 450 songs and having the first song move you to tears - thank you Jana Stanfield and "Amazing Things" 
• Further refreshing myself on several of Jana's and others songs that inspire - If I Were Brave was the FIRST I ever heard and I am even IN this video! Others I like are All The Good, Let the Change Begin, and I'm Not Lost, I am Exploring...good stuff! :)
• Time with my Life Coach (more on life coaching soon!) and a meditation/angel card on "Abundance" that all good is coming to me, abundance of life, love, money, career, anything...and you know what???? Believing it is KEY!!!  Thank you Alissa.  :) 
• Spring cleaning my own house, creating order (okay any of you who have been to my house know it already IS orderly and tidy, but even I can just feel better about it and improve!) and rearranging, redecorating, purging (which is a bit difficult when you are NOT a pack rat!) and moving toward something, spring - a season of newness, growth, and joy....

Joy and Contentment - two words I set my intention to with my coach a couple months ago - and I am feeling it today!  :)

Peace, Joy and Love to all!

~Daring, Delightful Diva

Hittin' the Road

I love travelling....of any kind....weekend getaways....but also don't mind traveling for work.....traveling with kids.....combine them? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I have a few weeks of travel coming up for work, and this first 7-10 days I am taking my kids, so we all know what that's like.  BUT...you know what I have learned?  I have GREAT kids and while traveling I am more relaxed, more go with the flow...a fanTABulous combination! 

I choose to have fun in most all of life, but especially while travelling - I have been told I can make a trip to a podunk Montana town fun - true story!  Life really IS too short to not have the most fun you can grab out of it.

SO, we have packed our bags tonight, one last load of laundry, toys ready, Kindle Fires (newest thing, YEAH!) and more.  We plan ahead for what we can, but we go with the flow and wing it really.  I have prepared for work items of course, and the kids will come home with school work, the rental car is reserved, family is awaiting with a basic itinerary of what I 'have' to do, other than that????? Anything we want.  This firm  mom will allow later nights, junk food more than ever, and fun in every possible avenue...and it will BE OK! 

We're OFF!  Oh, we have 14 hours to drive and you will be delighted to know we do the first 3 hours to our former home town for a visit...last year on the  remaining 11-hour drive my kiddos made a contest to see if they could NOT watch any movies on the DVD I got them...yep, they did it...and were GREAT!  We visited, sang, played games, they brought a few toys...that was it!  Pretty great huh?

Gender??? Personality??? Both???

Boys, girls, men, women, nature, nurture - what is the deal? Here are my thoughts...

Prior to having children of my own, I thought society placed gender differences and there were no 'natural' differences...then I had a girl, followed by a BOY...and WOW was I surprised!  The exact same bucket of infant toys - and yet they played with them differently!  My daughter would touch, look at intently, a little more calmly.  My son was attracted in the bucket of toys to ANY of them with wheels or balls and made more noises...like the vroom vroom...I was shocked!

As they have grown and grown I do see some gender differences, but also personality differences, and raised by the same mom!  I now believe it is a blend of everything that molds our youth into fanTABulous members of society - some nature, some nurture, some teaching and encouraging of masculine and feminine qualities...and ultimately??? 

We just hope we do not screw them up too badly on the way to the world! HAHA 

Here is a funny clip on the differences between the male and female brain, enjoy!

Daring, Delightful Diva... :)

Chivalry DEAD???

Recently I asked if chivalry was dead...we women do not get to experience it much anymore and I believe our standards have changed and it is lost.  Many things have affected the chivalrous revolution - from feminism to a desire to get back to more polite and old-fashioned dating or courting. 

BUT....what do we ladies do when we run across that rare male specimen that IS chivilrous?  We think something is wrong, it is too good to be true, it will end, and the list goes on and on.  And how about the chivilrous gentleman we speak of?  He feels like a rare bird, weird, like he would be more successful if he just acted like a jerk, and certainly feels like the nice guy always finishes last! 

My girlfriend told me once that she could not get used to her hubby opening doors and things like that and thought there was something wrong with her - that we as women get SOOOO incredibly used to the horrible and rude ways that we've been treated that being treated NICELY actually feels WRONG?????  How wrong and screwed up is that?   He promptly told her to get used to it, deal with it and he was raised that way - and she raised her standards and married him...so the NICE GUY doesn't always finish last! YEAH...

Dancing, Daring, Delightful Diva

Theory on 'Types' - where are you?

What TYPE are you?  What TYPE do you seek in a partner? Where do you fit or NOT fit?  Here I share my theory on girl and guy types, as I have often referred to myself as 'the girl-next-door type' and it leads to interesting conversations....

1. Super Models - aka 'hotties' and other such terminology; defined by sizzling good looks, but because the universe has to balance things out so they may not get the best in the brains department, or  might be horrible person, bitchy, douchey, lack self-confidence at the core, high maintenance, and more.  We all know at least one, right? The second they open their mouth, attraction plummets! 
2. Girls/Guys-Next-Door - These folks, both with men and women are truly the whole enchillada - they've got great looks, plenty of brains, along with perhaps wit and humor, but may be overlooked for super model ambitions in the dating world. 
3. Plain Janes/Joes - These are the regular ol' Joes so to speak, not horrible looking, perhaps smarter than the average bear though, and the Janes may be above wearing makeup, or just too busy or smart to bother.  Not into fashion, etc etc.  You get the idea.  On Big Bang Theory Amy Farrah Fowler is a prime example! Watch this and have fun!  Kills me! 
4. Ugly Ducklings - now these are the folks we see that we may wonder WOW, there is even someone for them!  They were not blessed with looks or brains, and the world is full of them.  Bad teeth, coke bottle glasses, bad fashion, and no brains, or skills for that matter.  I am not certainly trying to be mean here.  Just pointing out various types.  We all have seen them, and sometimes together, that gauky boy and plump gal at the fair making out, both with horrible acne, teeth clanking together....and we wonder HOW on EARTH???  Ok, bad memories flooding back.

SOOOO, now you get the idea! IU am bringin up nothing new here...there are always exceptions of course!  The key is to know and be aware enough of where YOU are and what you want...as a good match for you.  I really AM the girl next door, and in my opionion, those are the types, guys or girls, that you want to end up with in the end...they ARE the whole package - looks, brains, wit, humor, savvy, and more....If you are single reassess who you are looking for....are you a guy-next-door seeking out the eternal holy grail of a super model?  Are you a Plain Jane smart as a whip trying to get the guy next door to notice you?  It's a tough world to date anyway, let's start by being realistic...maybe there is a Plain Joe checking you out too....

We all have to open our eyes more, become a little more self-aware and it might not hurt to watch this hilarious video clip - She's Out Of My League!  Expand my theory to a 1 to 10 scale and I should have gone to the movie makers with MY idea!  The movie is about a 10 falling for a 5, in which NOBODY can even understand!

HAHA Enjoy!

And happy fishing!
Dancing Daring Delightful Diva :)

What IS a douche bag anyway?

In recent days I have been asked "What constitutes a douche bag anyway?"
So it is my duty to define, explain and teach! ;)

Sometimes in defining something, we must first see the flip side - what a douche bag is NOT, which might be perhaps more educational and telling. In fact, I am not speaking to the men here, both sexes can certainly BE douchey, for sure! 

What a douche bag is NOT:  honest, caring, kind, thoughtful, full of integrity and honor.  Saying what they mean, meaning what they saying, doing the right thing and doing what they say.  It would seem to me like simplicity at its finest...but it is apparently NOT that simple, or we wouldn't have a world full of douche bags running around!

So to zone in on what a douche bag IS, you can even find some examples in my previous blogs like The Traveler who did not present himself as he is now, to the Fellow Parent who presented himself full of fine character when all he wanted was a booty call, and the Too Tall Guy that just encompassed so many douchey things!  In general, these men, many other stories my exhibit douchey traits such as conceitedness, exaggeration, deceit, not showing up on time, or at all, checking out other women (or men) when with a fine specimen already, and general rudeness all around.

And drop it like it's HOT because this is the BEGINNING...the BEST time when people are on their best behaviors, still trying to look good and be good - it ONLY gets worse, honest!  So RUN FORREST RUN!!!! 

Well, that's what I can express about douchey-ness, DBags, and DBs for now!
Avoid em like the plague!

New Year, New Direction....

Well, joy oh joy we all get to be hurt - but in the hurts is the most growth and knowledge that we alone get to move forward with.  So I am doing just that, after a few months of dating someone I thought was the real deal.  BOY WAS I WRONG! 

I learned several things -

1. Be who you are, say what you mean, and do what you say - basically, have some integrity and respect.
2. I need to raise my value - if I expect to be treated with some respect and worth, then I shouldn't put up with so much garbage.
3. Regardless of a man in my life, it is full, fun and filled with people who love, support, like me and my kiddos, and clear out the rubbish sooner rather than later....if you keep Mr So-So around, then there is no room for someone better or more fitting to come along...just sayin'!

So here is to a new year and new direction, and the faith that I am one step closer to my match and partner...whom my friends said 'the special guy just for you is just taking longer to cook and be ready for you' and I shall cook up a little more too!

Onward, upward, and let's see how I can make this learning curve even better and faster!