Legal Battle....

I have finally come to a close on a legal issue and while I do not want to get into the details, I certainly have some thoughts and feelings surrounding the entire process.  I do want to share with those that care, and also share some things I learned along the way! I am in tears as I type, they just keep flowing, as if a giant release and floodgates have been opened.  They are tears of relief for sure, and of de-stressing, but also of joy - the joy in moving forward without this weight, joy of moving forward to new energy, joy of better things to do and deal with, and joys of resetting boundaries to work better together.  Mostly somehow they are tears of joy knowing that this only makes room for more joy and good things to land in my life!!!!  YIPPEE!!!

So at the root of the issue is that divorce can be ugly, and I have learned that even years later it can still be/get ugly, even if it is against your personal nature, positive outlook and that you don't want the drama, expense, or toll on the entire family, mostly the kiddos involved - but I found myself almost a year and a half ago having to determine a course of action that was in reaction to things thrown at me.  I had to assess some information from the other side and really get down to what I could live with in the long run - and I chose to go ahead and withstand the legal route.  I determined that the solution was not within my power and that things would not end until a judge intervened, which has finally happened today.  I really had to get down to my values, my core beliefs, and even those were tested, doubted...I am glad that I withstood this process. 

I have moved on and grown for years and built myself up, had so so many good things and people land in my life, I would wonder how or why an ex would care about a minute amount of money to spend thousands and a year and a half trying to avoid, only to end up financially worse off in the long run....there is at the root likely some jealousy, spite, resentment, or leftover anger.  But it is not my problem anymore. I am hoping that for the kids' sake since we have several more years ahead of us, that this will reset the boundaries, what is acceptable, what is not - and that I will no longer be pushed around at the whim, desires, lack of planning, or responsibility of someone else. 

For ME in this I learned that I can build even stronger roots to withstand the storm, to bend without breaking, to do things without knowing how I could, and wanting to throw in the towel many times.  I did come out stronger on the other side.  ~I am woman, I bend, I don't break!

At some point I let go of the outcome - I did know it couldn't have gotten any worse than what was offered in mediation - but for me I trusted that all would work out in the long run, and that releasing that exact outcome freed my heart and mind to draw it to me.  I tried my hardest not to let the negative in, the fears, the worries, the what if's...HAD HAD HAD to trust in the process, the universe and that good will come to good.  :)

The outcome has been ruled and my lawyer is writing up the plan - and it is soon done....before the holidays, in time to close out 2012, move forward....into 2013.  Bring it on!  I am pleased with the outcome, my lawyer is thrilled, my family and friends are thrilled.  Did I get absolutely everything? Nope.  Do I disagree with some things?  Yep.  Did I endure hearing lies on the stand?  Yep.  Did I come out 'ahead'?  Yep.  Did the other party hopefully learn a lesson?  Hopefully!  If not, it's not my problem at least!  Now I wouldn't want to be in that household this evening, and am quite content to be cozied up in my bed writing this, clearing out my head, my heart, making room for all this unabashed goodness to come.

I have MANY thanks & much gratitude - to friends, family, loved ones that have had to endure this with me - over the phone, in person, in silence, in yelling, in sending positive energy, love, light, prayers and more my way.  I am strong, but it takes a village sometimes - you have listened, hugged, offered that shoulder for tears at times, taken me dancing, out, exercised with me, breathed with me, built positive playlists, you name it!!! - you have been there for me, and I am grateful.  Ever more and may you find peace and light and know you can count on me.  

Off to sleep a peaceful, stress-free sleep tonight!
Daring, Delightful, inDebted, enDuring Diva :)