We all have them, right? A big moment that we get to say AH-HA, I get it! Realizing some big piece of ourselves, or in others, or both, or anything in between!
I just got the pleasure of an ah-ha moment - even if it was difficult! As we maneuver and learn in relationships and are figuring out how each other resonates, behaves, feels, thinks, all of those things - we will stumble upon something that does not work for both parties. It often can be where we feel 'opposite' from each other - when the opposite things are where we may be weak by nature and actually attract that person to us for that reason, but it is also difficult to deal with simply because it is opposite of how we naturally operate! Crazy world we live in! So we get the AH-HA moment to push us outside our box and guess what? GROW! We get to grow from ah-ha moments! YEAH!
So for me, I learned a lot about myself yesterday and today, as well as the other person - and I grew...at least a little. ; ) And I will continue to grow and flourish and blossom...and as an extrovert, I can learn a GREAT deal from this introvert who needs and seeks solitude...the area I most need to grow for my being and soul to flourish. Exciting times! : )
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
WOW!
Someone once told me in relationships to wait....for the WOW factor....and to not settle for less. I have been patiently waiting, figuring things out on me, living my life with more intention and purpose, all of those things. WOW has hit me square in the eyes and when I least expected it!
I have been thoroughly enjoying dating this special man for a while now and found myself saying WOW an awful lot. Then it dawned on me - WOW - this is really happening! Then I had to examine the other, more logical aspects too...
This is a good man, with good character and good values - one of the more recent qualities that I have been waiting for, to be more congruent and compatible with my own life (including two little ones!). I didn't feel at all like I was settling for a Mr. Ok! This has REAL possibility here! WOW! Ohhhh, there it goes again, like an uncontrollable spasm, WOW! So far, we are finding that we are quite compatible in many ways - active, healthy, family values, things desired in life, and lifestyle. As well, we ar finding complementary things too - my organizational skills and positivity, his ability to slow down and relax, being in nature, helping bring me down to earth now and then, and both of us commenting on how it helps us each BE a better person - always part of any positive WOW relationship, right? This is WOW...oops, there it is again...anyone have more words?
How about the "L" word? Yep, I'm in LOVE, and so is he - how convenient is that? >>>>> and as my kids would say "Mommy" and "----" kissing in a tree...K.I.S.S.I.N.G....
you know those words! : )
Enjoy your day, your life, your relationships
And make them the best that you can each and every day!
Dancing, Daring, Delightful Diva!
I have been thoroughly enjoying dating this special man for a while now and found myself saying WOW an awful lot. Then it dawned on me - WOW - this is really happening! Then I had to examine the other, more logical aspects too...
This is a good man, with good character and good values - one of the more recent qualities that I have been waiting for, to be more congruent and compatible with my own life (including two little ones!). I didn't feel at all like I was settling for a Mr. Ok! This has REAL possibility here! WOW! Ohhhh, there it goes again, like an uncontrollable spasm, WOW! So far, we are finding that we are quite compatible in many ways - active, healthy, family values, things desired in life, and lifestyle. As well, we ar finding complementary things too - my organizational skills and positivity, his ability to slow down and relax, being in nature, helping bring me down to earth now and then, and both of us commenting on how it helps us each BE a better person - always part of any positive WOW relationship, right? This is WOW...oops, there it is again...anyone have more words?
you know those words! : )
Enjoy your day, your life, your relationships
And make them the best that you can each and every day!
Dancing, Daring, Delightful Diva!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Been thinkin'
Sometimes when we receive information from another, it may not be what we would like to hear, but we have to figure out how to accept and move on. I realized yesterday evening that many things come into play as we process information. We have to separate out some factors involved:
Our own history and baggage from relationships comes into play - the way others behaved, reacted, experiences you had, insecurities you had....all of which are in the past, but are spilling into today's present and tomorrows' future - if we let it.
Another factor that plays into account is simply taking things personal - and that logically this has nothing directly to do with us at all...and we have to let it go, let it rest, let it be...
We have to separate the person from the pattern, what we want from what we may have, our expectations from reality, and our own wants and desires from the situation at hand too...all of that plays into account. We need to try to see the bigger picture as we move and groove into a relationship, the good over the challenges and learn to work with each other to have a successful foundation.
Our own history and baggage from relationships comes into play - the way others behaved, reacted, experiences you had, insecurities you had....all of which are in the past, but are spilling into today's present and tomorrows' future - if we let it.
Another factor that plays into account is simply taking things personal - and that logically this has nothing directly to do with us at all...and we have to let it go, let it rest, let it be...
We have to separate the person from the pattern, what we want from what we may have, our expectations from reality, and our own wants and desires from the situation at hand too...all of that plays into account. We need to try to see the bigger picture as we move and groove into a relationship, the good over the challenges and learn to work with each other to have a successful foundation.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Little things...
I have learned many things along the way - but it really is the little things that matter most. So we have to learn to SEE the little things right? I often get teased about how enthusiastic I am about all kinds of things, and I would ask you this - isn't that the more enjoyable way to be?
If we notice and are grateful, happy, ecstatic about most anything, my life is filled with joy, appreciation, and more and more of that builds up...so why not purposefully look for and appreciate those things?
So, let's see an example of someone calling in the evening for a few minutes. There are a couple of reactions:
Change your perspective, change your thoughts, and change your life
- and it becomes far more enjoyable!
So, let's see an example of someone calling in the evening for a few minutes. There are a couple of reactions:
- One person could be irritated or bothered that they only had a few minutes for them, or that it was late in the day, and that they are the leftovers or afterthoughts to the person who called. OR...
- One could be appreciative that the person calling found even a few minutes to call and visit even though they are busy, exhausted, tired, stressed - YOU were important enough to find 10 minutes to call. They think of you in the morning through the evening and wanted to hear your voice before bed. SWEET!
Change your perspective, change your thoughts, and change your life
- and it becomes far more enjoyable!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Been a while!...
Well, it has been a while, but LIFE has happened and I have been going with the flow, dodging curve balls and all sorts of things, getting my life into a whole new perspective!
I have learned a few things in my time away as it has been a while since I have dated, or posted about it:
I said YES to a date and am having a GREAT time! : )
I have learned a few things in my time away as it has been a while since I have dated, or posted about it:
- Having Mr. Ok-Right-Now around does NOT leave room for anyone else to land in your life.
- Even my ex-husband can meet someone willing to spend the rest of their life with him...OY!
- Life is all about CHANGE and that perhaps if we aren't willing to make those changes, God, the universe, or whatever you believe in, will make them for us.
- Life is also about taking chances and risks and we should come sliding into the grave having used up everything, having had a blast along the way!
- I'd rather have a pile of 'oh wells' than 'what ifs' along the way
I said YES to a date and am having a GREAT time! : )
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Date again Mom?
Recently, having been out of the dating scene for a while, I decided to ask the kids what they thought of their mom dating again!
Well, much enthusiasm ensued and then I wondered 'why the ecstatic-ness?' So I asked why they were so excited for Mom to date again - to which my daughter (age 9) replied "we just want you to be happy Mom!"
I explained my happiness and that I didn't need to date someone to BE happy - that I had them, me, my friends, my work, and was really liking this town and move - and that I felt QUITE HAPPY...
My daughter had her fingers to her chin, deep in thought - then stated "we just want you to be EXTRA HAPPY then Mom, like the cherry on top!"
How wise, little one, how wise! : )
Well, much enthusiasm ensued and then I wondered 'why the ecstatic-ness?' So I asked why they were so excited for Mom to date again - to which my daughter (age 9) replied "we just want you to be happy Mom!"
I explained my happiness and that I didn't need to date someone to BE happy - that I had them, me, my friends, my work, and was really liking this town and move - and that I felt QUITE HAPPY...My daughter had her fingers to her chin, deep in thought - then stated "we just want you to be EXTRA HAPPY then Mom, like the cherry on top!"
How wise, little one, how wise! : )
Friday, April 1, 2011
Life's changes
Since this blog began, it was originally designed to share dating stories, but also incorporate tales from the trenches of womanhood, I will share a story about life's BIG changes!
I recently found myself as a single mom with not much child support in need of new employment. I was blessed enough to have 5-6 months' time by my current employer, but it was still stressful nonetheless, and to boot, I had just purchased my own home after 4 years of efforts and looking! OY! Long story short, when we trust that all will work out (not naively, but really trust AND still behave, act, have efforts that support things working out) and we surrender to the many possibilities life has to offer, life really does offer good things! To handle it, I had to take better care of myself than ever before, I had to search and work diligently on job prospects, and plan for the worst ALL at the same time. I made good financial decisions, cut back in preparation, asked people for help, continued exercising, eating well, stress management, and lots of movement meditation, Nia, counseling, life coaching and visualization to keep me on good solid ground along the way! Boy, I am not kidding when I say it takes a village to raise me! ; )
I never saw myself moving for years, but as I grew open to seeing new things, applying for jobs all over the country, it grew on me and I still new the right job, place, and situation would open up in time. The job I accepted did mean a new town, new place, new people, new surroundings and many new opportunities. I was scared, nervous, had two young children, but I KNEW and TRUSTED that all would work out! Even my day to interview at the site location was insanely meant to be - rentals, schools, After school care, even a group of belly dancers helped me see if the puzzle pieces would fit - and they all 'magically' fell together.
Since moving here, things have been challenging, sure, I do not have Rose-Colored glasses on - but they have not been as difficult as I had thought - no crying, no wanting to move back, nothing. I'm really wearing my big girl panties! It is what it is and I moved here to embrace this change and give it a real shot. And by giving it a real shot that sometimes means making myself be outside my box in meeting people, trying new things, and it has been FUN!
So, the job is wonderful and going far better than any other and better than expected - what a relief! The kids have been adjusting and getting better and better. We are all making friends, joining in things, and finding cool things to do here. I even accepted a date with a nice fella and have been enjoying myself immensely on that front as well.
Life's changes - I've experienced LOTS of new all in a year's time - embrace it, change is good for the soul, and God really doesn't give you more than you can handle - or perhaps thinks we should handle it! Growth, learning, development, skill-building...go with it! : )
I recently found myself as a single mom with not much child support in need of new employment. I was blessed enough to have 5-6 months' time by my current employer, but it was still stressful nonetheless, and to boot, I had just purchased my own home after 4 years of efforts and looking! OY! Long story short, when we trust that all will work out (not naively, but really trust AND still behave, act, have efforts that support things working out) and we surrender to the many possibilities life has to offer, life really does offer good things! To handle it, I had to take better care of myself than ever before, I had to search and work diligently on job prospects, and plan for the worst ALL at the same time. I made good financial decisions, cut back in preparation, asked people for help, continued exercising, eating well, stress management, and lots of movement meditation, Nia, counseling, life coaching and visualization to keep me on good solid ground along the way! Boy, I am not kidding when I say it takes a village to raise me! ; )
I never saw myself moving for years, but as I grew open to seeing new things, applying for jobs all over the country, it grew on me and I still new the right job, place, and situation would open up in time. The job I accepted did mean a new town, new place, new people, new surroundings and many new opportunities. I was scared, nervous, had two young children, but I KNEW and TRUSTED that all would work out! Even my day to interview at the site location was insanely meant to be - rentals, schools, After school care, even a group of belly dancers helped me see if the puzzle pieces would fit - and they all 'magically' fell together.
Since moving here, things have been challenging, sure, I do not have Rose-Colored glasses on - but they have not been as difficult as I had thought - no crying, no wanting to move back, nothing. I'm really wearing my big girl panties! It is what it is and I moved here to embrace this change and give it a real shot. And by giving it a real shot that sometimes means making myself be outside my box in meeting people, trying new things, and it has been FUN!
So, the job is wonderful and going far better than any other and better than expected - what a relief! The kids have been adjusting and getting better and better. We are all making friends, joining in things, and finding cool things to do here. I even accepted a date with a nice fella and have been enjoying myself immensely on that front as well.
Life's changes - I've experienced LOTS of new all in a year's time - embrace it, change is good for the soul, and God really doesn't give you more than you can handle - or perhaps thinks we should handle it! Growth, learning, development, skill-building...go with it! : )
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